2014 SHUT THE HELL UP LIST

Why oh why do they talk, on the news, about people who do not matter? I mean, I’m sure they matter to someone, but in the subject at hand, the state of our country, global warming, gay marriage, etc., why do they quote people who have no knowledge of expertise in the subject? beg of you, please. 

I no longer want to hear any quotes from:

1. Phil Robertson, who is a millionaire who created duck calls. He “found” Jesus, probably in jail. Lots of people do this. It does not make him quotable when it comes to same sex marriage. It might make him good at playing Where’s Waldo. 

2. Donald Trump, who doesn’t even have the sense to accept he is BALD, and that bad combover is horrific. He does not have a degree in science, and he knows little about politics, particularly global warming. Just because we still have winter does not mean global warming is not happening. Please shut up. 

3. Kim Kardashian. Please, do not ask her about anything. Unless you have a question about handbags that if sold could feed 50 hungry unemployed people. 

4. Kanye West, who has become so delusional he thinks his performances are as dangerous as being a policeman, firefighter, or soldier. Do you have to avoid land minds when you hip hop across the stage Kanye? It might look that way, but I’m sure your manager and entourage took care of that before the concert started.

5. Gayle Ruzicka, who if you are not from Utah you may not know. She is not educated nor is she in any office of power except the one she created, The Utah Eagle Forum. We DO have her to thank for our recent same-sex marriage ban being overturned, as she pushed conservative senators to pass a bill that contained illegal verbiage in it. Thanks, Gayle, now shut up. 

6. George Zimmerman. All the man does is bad. He is a bad murderer who got off because of a poor job on the part of the prosecutors. Tell him to go away. 

7. Sarah Palin. She doesn’t research ANYTHING before she jumps on the bandwagon. I do more research in an hour than she does in a year. Just shut it, Palin, and go back to hunting animals. 

8. Little Satan (aka Ted Cruz) and his buddy Mike Lee. We recently discovered Little Satan is a CANADIAN, too. At least we know Hawaii is a part of the United States. How did he keep that quiet while the birthers were after our president? 

9. The Republican party, UNLESS they get their shit together and oust all these tea party extremists who want to hold our government hostage. DO something. You can force them out. You know you can. You can also hold the two words in your hands that terrify congressmen every where. PRIMARY ELECTION. It means you have picked someone else. Get rid of the idiots and get some, er, normal conservatives in there. If you do not, you will see a Democratic house and a Democratic senate. The country is not happy with you. But I believe you can kiss and makeup. Just don’t do it with another woman who isn’t your wife or an intern. That never works out well. 

And finally:

10. The bullies at Goodreads, paid reviews from Kirkus, and paid reviews at Publisher’s Weekly. Reviews mean nothing anymore. Listen to your friends. If they liked a book, you might, too.

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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