Good Mormon Girl 101 Part 2

I am sitting in the doctor’s office, crying, explaining to her why I don’t want to take Ambien to help me sleep. See, once there was this psycho dance mom who used Ambien as an excuse for every single bit of her bad behavior. And then there was the picture of the lady shopping for tomatoes in her granny panties. Ambien? I don’t know. But I don’t want to end up on the “People of WalMart Website” trying to find the nicest tomatoes they have while around me people whisper “She forgot to put on her pants.” Couldn’t some kind soul tell her she was wearing a top and granny panties?

I couldn’t be that kind soul, because I only saw the picture. But it raised a lot of fears in my mind.

Jesus wants me for a SunBEAM, but only if I am wearing pants. Or preferably a skirt.

I have forgotten how to be. I still remember how to be a Good Mormon Girl. But I have forgotten how to be me. Can someone please give that back to me? And tell me if I am in WalMart in a top and granny panties? Please?




About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
This entry was posted in Around the world in a Mormon minute, Natalie's Posts, Things she said.... and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Good Mormon Girl 101 Part 2

  1. Linda Watkins says:

    Dear girl, cut yourself some slack. You have/are going through a transitional time in your life. Lack of sleep can really muddle thought processes. Ambien beats Prozac.Try 1/2 the amt. It works for me. Thought you were an Exmo? Spoil yourself a little -, maybe a trip way, way from UT.If nothing else keep a few notes on your thoughts. Could be fodder for a new book.


  2. Cele says:

    Girl friend try 10mgs of Melatonin. It doesn’t make me fall asleep, it just helps me go back to sleep when I wake up.


  3. MJ says:

    Hey, I just found your blog, and your writings. I am so, SO sorry for your loss. Sending good vibes your way. Hang in there, please. Your writing style is awesome, and I have already learned quite a bit, just from what you wrote about BY. (((Hugs))) And if I see you at walmart with no pants on, I will let you know.


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