You know, people are all the time telling me about Satan on the this blog. They call him by different names, like “The Adversary,” and shit like that. But he’s the Devil, otherwise known as Satan, AKA Beelzebub, and Mephi…something or other. Anyway, I’ve discovered that Satan is alive and well and running a business in the United States.

This business is called DirecTV. You may have heard of it. Well, let me tell you, if you are confronted by this evil manifestation of Satan, RUN. FLEE. Say a prayer, do some Hail Marys and go buy a Rosary. Because if you think Linda Blair spitting pea soup was evil, you ain’t seen NOTHING yet.

I had my own run in with DirecTV, when I tried to terminate our contract early because we were moving DOWN TO SOUTHERN UTAH to help care for my parents. Yeah, no matter that I had cable provided where I was. They were NOT letting me out of my contract. They offered me Showtime for six months, and $10 off a month, which any moron (even one who is math-challenged like me) can figure out would be about $200 worth of service, so I told them to credit that to my account and we would call it good. No such luck.

At any rate, Satan finally took an auto-payment out of MY HUSBAND’S account because I had used it ONCE to pay them.

After hours and hours on the phone, I finally gave up.

Well, Satan, AKA DIRECTV, has struck again.

The WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE IN THE WORLD award goes to DirecTV!! This is the most ridiculous company with the most ridiculous customer service policy I have EVER run across. They have outdone themselves this time.

They will NOT release my parents from their two-year commitment, even though they have SOLD the house where they had the DirecTV, because they HAD to move.

My mother is dying of pulmonary fibrosis. She is on oxygen 24/7. We don’t really like to say, “My mother is dying,” because it’s not really a pleasant thing to say or think about, but it’s reality. A year ago, a doctor told her she could die any day, and she would extend her life greatly if she moved to sea level. She compromised, by moving to southern Utah. And she does better here. However, she has NO NEED FOR DIRECTV, because the little house where they live has cable provided by the homeowners association.

They have been fighting with DirecTV for the past two weeks. The house is sold. It is empty and waiting for the new residents, who hopefully will be smart enough NOT to sign up with DirecTV. But this immoral and unethical company will NOT release them from the early contract termination fee of $250.

Never mind that my mother is dying and my dad has Parkinson’s.

Never MIND that they sold the house, and no longer live there, and have cable provided down here. The dumbass woman my dad spoke to today actually told him that he should get it hooked up DOWN HERE, even though they HAVE CABLE. Did I mention they HAVE CABLE ALREADY, including in their HOMEOWNER’S FEE? I don’t ever remember hearing or reading that you can never have too much cable television. They only HAVE one television. Why would they need TWO cable providers? He was shaking so bad at the end of the conversation (which lasted half the day, or two hours. Whichever came first.) that he shook his entire chair. Parkinson’s is a beast. It makes it hard to control your body, and when you are upset, it is even harder.

I guess my dad thought he might make more headway than my mom, who had called them twice before. ALL WITH THE SAME RESULT.

When my mom called a few days ago, another two + hour conversation, the poor kid reading the script on the other end of the phone had to take a break and compose himself when she asked, “So, how are you going to collect this when I die? Because I was told a year ago that I could die tomorrow.” He had no answer. But stuck to the script and still WILL NOT LET THEM OUT OF THE CONTRACT.

What is WRONG with this picture?

Where is the moral and ethical concern for the customer? At DirecTV, there ISN’T one. It’s ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. And you will pay them, even if you are paying them from the grave.

My mother even asked if he was going to come dig up her grave to get his money. (I think that’s when he had to take the break.)

And I don’t really blame the kid. He’s just doing a job, and reading a script, and they are NOT allowed to deviate from the script. And asking for a supervisor does NOTHING. I mean nothing.

So, I shall make sure the world knows that this is a company run by Satan, AKA the Adversary. Say your prayers, people, especially if you see the damn DirecTV van in your neighborhood. They probably run over puppies on purpose and smash mailboxes and laugh. (My apologies to the DirecTV employees who I am quite sure do nothing of the sort. Even though their evil bosses probably WANT them to do it.)

I laugh at the customer service link on their Website. Customer service my ass.

This, my friends, is war.


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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9 Responses to DirectTV IS THE DEVIL’S BUSINESS

  1. Melissa says:

    Um, I may be on DirecTV’s side in this one.

    You signed a contract. That contract says you will pay them x amount over a specific time period. They figure their bottom line — which isn’t just profit, but includes salaries, funding for new projects, etc. — based on the amount of income they are CONTRACTUALLY guaranteed to receive.

    Now you’ve changed your mind. Yes, you have a reason. So does everyone else who wants to cancel. They are losing money that was contractually guaranteed them if they let you out of the contract you/your parents signed. But hey! They put in an escape clause. For $250 — which is still a loss to them — they will dissolve the contract.

    They are not evil for following the contract you agreed to. I bet you’d be ALL OVER your publisher if they decided they wanted out of your contract and decided to stop paying you royalties.


    • Hi Melissa,

      I did sign the contract, and frankly, I wrote the money we lost off months ago. Truthfully, there was nothing we could do. But this is not about me. This is about two people who could not foresee that they within a few months one of them would be diagnosed with a terminal illness. My father was a school teacher, and my mother worked for our county. They are not rich. They had five kids, scrimped, saved, and every penny is precious, especially as they are NOW FACING medical bills and eventual assisted living and possibly a nursing home.

      As I stated, my mother is DYING.

      And as for me being all over my publisher, they have the right to cancel the contract. It’s in the paperwork.

      So you are wrong.

      And this is neither ethical nor moral. In addition, they have all these poor people working in their call center that are taking the heat for corporate management decisions they have NO impact or say so on.

      The poor kid my mom was talking to had to put her on hold to compose himself! These people need jobs. They don’t want to get fired, and our economy ain’t so great right now. So they don’t have a choice. What a horrible position for them to be in, as well.

      You should never defend a poor business model, and what DirecTV has going is a VERY, VERY poor business model. It is sales-oriented, at the expense of both the customer and the employees. In this day an age, only a market-oriented business is going to survive, and thus DirecTV needs to change their orientation or face the music. Today they are facing the music.


    • Books are not TV services, it’s just not the same thing.

      It seems to me that when someone moves, that contract should terminate. DirecTV isn’t losing a penny–read on:

      Companies always have an opportunity to make reasonable decisions in unusual circumstances, decisions that give people good feelings about doing business with them now and in the future. Or they can make poor customer service decisions, as DirecTV and many other service companies do.

      Circumstances like these, when bad enough, are why consumer protection laws are instituted and DirecTV shouldn’t be surprised if one day the govt steps in to do something for consumers. Here you go:

      DIRECTV reported net profit of $516 million for the 3rd Quarter of 2011, bringing its net profit to $1.89 billion for the first 9 months of the year and putting the company on track to top its record 2010 profit of $2.3 billion. DIRECTV’s profits come at the expense of its customers who are assessed hefty “cancellation penalties” — up to $480 — when they terminate their service, said Consumer Watchdog.

      This “early cancellation penalty,” the subject of pending litigation, is charged regardless of the reason for the cancellation, and is often removed without consent from customers’ bank accounts or credit card accounts.

      Full story here:


  2. Dorien Grey says:

    Alas, DirectTV is not alone. AT&T can give them a run for their money, with several other companies in close pursuit. I always think of Lily Tomlin’s Ernestine’s classic line: “We don’t care. We don’t have to. We’re the phone company.”


  3. Kate Kane says:

    I’m amazed that you and your parents were on those phone calls for so long! What most surprises me is that there was no empathy from DirecTV; you guys were in a very delicate situation so I’m sure it would have been nice for some deviation from the script. Since I work for DISH I know that some of what Melissa says is true in the sense that, yes, contracts are legally binding, but I’m sure there was something more that they could have done. If you’re ever in need of a TV provider, I always suggest DISH because they have better prices for a better level of service that won’t leave a bad taste in your mouth. On a lighter note, I hope your parents are enjoying their new home; Utah can be very beautiful!


  4. Gary Presley says:

    DISH is the same, or no better. I understand “contract.” But if contracts could not be renegotiated to both parties’ benefit in circumstances where warranted, law school admissions would drop 50%.

    We live in a rural area and have no alternative except three broadcast channels, but I disconnected DISH anyway. I also learned to be diligent about follow-up bills like $300+ for equipment returned as requested.

    DISH customer service was so aIbysmal that I found the corporate headquarters and faxed and emailed protests there.

    I wish there were some way that the individual consumer could make a mega-corporation feel pain.


  5. Brandy says:

    I read this comment earlier and felt bad that you have had such a bad experience with Direct TV because I have had Direct TV most of life, and have never had a problem with it. We have never tried to cancle it either though. We haven’t had a contract with them for years!!

    I get off your blog and then check out my local news to find that Direct TV is having an all out war with Viacom (MTV, Nick, Comedy Central, and others). Viacom has shut down all their stations on Direct TV (and online). LOL I don’t watch any of the junk on these channels so it really doesn’t effect my family. I just thought it was a funny quinky dink!! I hope that you were able to get everything worked out though!!


  6. Dtv is the devil says:

    Amen and Amen! They got their last penny from me and I hope it costs them hundreds of thousands. I will shout from the hills to run, I say RUN frim DTV!!!


  7. john shepherd says:

    I used to have direct tv and after my contract was up I canceled when I moved from my condo into a house I bought. I returned the receiver as instrcuted and even had the confirmation that they had received but they still charged my credit card for $250 for not returning the receiver. When I contacted direct tv I was informed that they would reverse the charges but it would take up to 8 weeks. WTF??? Seriously? 8 weeks? I contacted my credit cardrthey said the only way they could help was if I canceled my credit card and had a new one issued. I opted to wait. And it took 8 weeks to get my money back. In the mean time they gained interest on the money they were holding. Just imagine how much money they make if they to this all of their customers.


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