You know, people are all the time telling me about Satan on the this blog. They call him by different names, like “The Adversary,” and shit like that. But he’s the Devil, otherwise known as Satan, AKA Beelzebub, and Mephi…something or other. Anyway, I’ve discovered that Satan is alive and well and running a business in the United States.
This business is called DirecTV. You may have heard of it. Well, let me tell you, if you are confronted by this evil manifestation of Satan, RUN. FLEE. Say a prayer, do some Hail Marys and go buy a Rosary. Because if you think Linda Blair spitting pea soup was evil, you ain’t seen NOTHING yet.
I had my own run in with DirecTV, when I tried to terminate our contract early because we were moving DOWN TO SOUTHERN UTAH to help care for my parents. Yeah, no matter that I had cable provided where I was. They were NOT letting me out of my contract. They offered me Showtime for six months, and $10 off a month, which any moron (even one who is math-challenged like me) can figure out would be about $200 worth of service, so I told them to credit that to my account and we would call it good. No such luck.
At any rate, Satan finally took an auto-payment out of MY HUSBAND’S account because I had used it ONCE to pay them.
After hours and hours on the phone, I finally gave up.
Well, Satan, AKA DIRECTV, has struck again.
The WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE IN THE WORLD award goes to DirecTV!! This is the most ridiculous company with the most ridiculous customer service policy I have EVER run across. They have outdone themselves this time.
They will NOT release my parents from their two-year commitment, even though they have SOLD the house where they had the DirecTV, because they HAD to move.
My mother is dying of pulmonary fibrosis. She is on oxygen 24/7. We don’t really like to say, “My mother is dying,” because it’s not really a pleasant thing to say or think about, but it’s reality. A year ago, a doctor told her she could die any day, and she would extend her life greatly if she moved to sea level. She compromised, by moving to southern Utah. And she does better here. However, she has NO NEED FOR DIRECTV, because the little house where they live has cable provided by the homeowners association.
They have been fighting with DirecTV for the past two weeks. The house is sold. It is empty and waiting for the new residents, who hopefully will be smart enough NOT to sign up with DirecTV. But this immoral and unethical company will NOT release them from the early contract termination fee of $250.
Never mind that my mother is dying and my dad has Parkinson’s.
Never MIND that they sold the house, and no longer live there, and have cable provided down here. The dumbass woman my dad spoke to today actually told him that he should get it hooked up DOWN HERE, even though they HAVE CABLE. Did I mention they HAVE CABLE ALREADY, including in their HOMEOWNER’S FEE? I don’t ever remember hearing or reading that you can never have too much cable television. They only HAVE one television. Why would they need TWO cable providers? He was shaking so bad at the end of the conversation (which lasted half the day, or two hours. Whichever came first.) that he shook his entire chair. Parkinson’s is a beast. It makes it hard to control your body, and when you are upset, it is even harder.
I guess my dad thought he might make more headway than my mom, who had called them twice before. ALL WITH THE SAME RESULT.
When my mom called a few days ago, another two + hour conversation, the poor kid reading the script on the other end of the phone had to take a break and compose himself when she asked, “So, how are you going to collect this when I die? Because I was told a year ago that I could die tomorrow.” He had no answer. But stuck to the script and still WILL NOT LET THEM OUT OF THE CONTRACT.
What is WRONG with this picture?
Where is the moral and ethical concern for the customer? At DirecTV, there ISN’T one. It’s ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. And you will pay them, even if you are paying them from the grave.
My mother even asked if he was going to come dig up her grave to get his money. (I think that’s when he had to take the break.)
And I don’t really blame the kid. He’s just doing a job, and reading a script, and they are NOT allowed to deviate from the script. And asking for a supervisor does NOTHING. I mean nothing.
So, I shall make sure the world knows that this is a company run by Satan, AKA the Adversary. Say your prayers, people, especially if you see the damn DirecTV van in your neighborhood. They probably run over puppies on purpose and smash mailboxes and laugh. (My apologies to the DirecTV employees who I am quite sure do nothing of the sort. Even though their evil bosses probably WANT them to do it.)
I laugh at the customer service link on their Website. Customer service my ass.
This, my friends, is war.