Nitwit of the Week Award (Nice-ified from the Stick up the Ass Award)

In the spirit of my new niceness, I won’t call nominate this guy for a “stick-up-the-ass.” But something HAS to be done, so I have nominated him for the Nitwit of the Week Award.

Mormons. Halloween is a PAGAN holiday. Do you know what PAGAN means? Yes, I imagine you are envisioning 666 and the devil, and poor murdered little kitties. Just to make things perfectly clear, this is what PAGAN means, according to Merriam Webster. 

: heathen 1; especially: a follower of a polytheistic religion (as in ancient Rome)
: one who has little or no religion and who delights in sensual pleasures and material goods : an irreligious or hedonistic person
Despite this, the Mormons I know have embraced Halloween in all it’s ghoulish, ghastly glory, and I guess that’s okay, but you don’t get to abscond with someone else’s holiday, and then think you get to make the RULES. You don’t.
As is the case throughout Utah, when Mormons throw their Trunk or Treat bashes (trick or treating out of the trunks of cars, which to me is a lot more sleazy than ringing someone’s doorbell. Picture this. “Hey kid, want some CAN-dy? Come over to my trunk….” Yeah.), they put fliers on everyone’s doorstep. Mormon or not. In the spirit of Christianity. Even if it’s a pagan holiday. Yeah, I don’t get it either.
But in THIS particular instance, the Mormon ward decided that girls and boys better dress as the sex they are, or all hell (ha ha ha) would break loose. Well, a non-Mormon living in the neighborhood took offense to the ban on cross-gender dressing. My niece Fluffy, who will NOT WEAR ANYTHING girlie, would probably punch the bishop in the eye for telling her she can’t wear a boy costume. She doesn’t LIKE the girl costumes. Sorry, it’s who she is.
But this particular bishop is particularly stupid, and so he defended his ward’s position this way:
Well, there you go. If you don’t like it, get the heck out of here. That same old tired song. Except, the reality is, the majority of people do not AGREE with you. Idiot. You aren’t defending the church, you are defending the self-righteous bigots in your ward who believe that cross-gender dressing, even for Halloween, is NOT PROPER. Please, by all means, come as Jason, the serial killer, or Michael Myers, another famous movie killer, or even Jack the Ripper, but DO NOT DRESS UP AS SPIDERMAN if you are a girl. That would be just too, too HEATHEN.
Defending his position on this one is going to be difficult. I feel a little sorry for him, but not completely. He’s still a nitwit to defend the position. When I was in sixth grade I went as a FOOTBALL PLAYER and a bunch of our boys went as cheerleaders. In fact, that’s pretty common. Even among Mormons. And it means NOTHING. And even if meant the person WAS TRANSGENDER, YOUR EFFING CHURCH HAS SAID THAT IS NOT A SIN. Acting on it sexually is a sin.
Actually, I’m not sure the Mormons know how to wrap their minds around transgender, because you don’t hear a lot about it. But that’s neither here nor there. Bishop Toone’s stance is NOT LDS Church policy, and thus, he is behaving as a Nitwit.
Enjoy the award, Bishop Toone. And reach behind you and pull that…. Uh, never mind.

About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
This entry was posted in Around the world in a Mormon minute, Natalie's Posts, Things she said.... and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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