Families are forever as long as you are heterosexual, Mormon, preferably white, conservative and anal retentive

Utah is one of the last states, along with Missisippi, to not allow gay couples to adopt their children. Someone I know, who I have come to have ABSOLUTELY NO RESPECT for, said on his Facebook post,  “hey we are as smart as Mississippi!”

Wow. The only words that come to mind are MORONIC idiot, especially as this particular person, while acting as the epitome of Mormon goodliness (along with smug self-righteousness), has a group of skeletons dancing in his closet that are old, loud, and definitely ugly.

He no longer likes me much, which doesn’t surprise me, because after all, who likes to be told they are an idiot–even if it’s true. But when I read this story he posted on Facebook, with his stupid-ass comment, I decided the reason we are still friends, at least on FB, is so I can use him as an example of the particular destructive mindset pervasive throughout Utah. 

This mindset is Amazing Idiocy, because if he WASN’T an idiot, why we he be claiming us to be as “smart” as Mississippi? When’s the last time someone went around saying, “Well, I wasn’t sure about him at first, but then I found out he was from Mississippi, so I knew he was someone to listen to!” Now I am not putting Mississippi down, since most people have a hard time even spelling the name of the state without reciting the incantation we learned in school (myself included). MI-SS-I-SS-I-PP-I. They must have been pretty damn tricky when they came up with that one (or stole it from the Native Americans), but still.  Mississippi is not the capital of brainiacs. (Important note: if you are from Mississippi, please do not write me in offense. I’m sure you’re smart. It’s just an example.)

But Amazing Idiot is using this story to hold on to whatever little dignity Utah has left, by refusing to let people parent based on ORIENTATION. And he apparently did not READ the story, which is about Utah’s attempt to change this law–or at least a few lawmakers, trying to protect families. Because no matter what AI thinks, these ARE families.

The labor was surprisingly fast and calm for twins. Kelley Beeny watched in awe as her partner of a dozen years gave birth to two boys: Ben and Sam, weighing about 3 and 5 pounds respectively.

“It’s unbelievable how you can love these little things so much,” Beeny recalls. “Falling in love with somebody is totally different from falling in love with your children. … It changes who you are.”

Her partner, Kaye Christensen, adopted Beeny’s surname soon after the boys’ birth. The twins, who were conceived with the help of a sperm donor, also share the name.

“They’re the Beeny babies,” Kelley quips.

Three-and-a-half years later, Kelley stays at home with the twins in Tooele while Kaye, 40, commutes to work in Salt Lake City. Kelley, 48, is the family’s “domestic goddess,” folding laundry, fixing meals and tidying the house. She listens to Ben spout his knowledge of train mechanics and sing Thomas the Tank Engine songs. She admires Sam’s latest finger paintings.

Both boys call Kelley “Mommy.”

But to the state of Utah, she is not their legal parent.

In other words, if something happened to her long-time partner, she would have no claim on the children she has raised, and is raising on a daily basis. Those children are loved. In a world filled with hate, why on earth would anyone want to propagate more?

Utah is one of two states with statutes that block same-sex couples from adopting children. (The other is Mississippi.)

Salt Lake City Democrats Rep. Rebecca Chavez-Houck and Sen. Ross Romero hope to offer a remedy to families like the Beenys during the 2011 session of the Legislature, which begins Monday.

In 2000, Utah adopted a law that prohibits individuals who are living in unmarried, sexual relationships — whether gay or straight — from adopting or fostering children. Gay men and lesbians who live alone may adopt.

After pushing to change the policy in the previous three sessions without ever getting to a floor vote, Chavez-Houck has narrowed her scope to protecting families like the Beenys.

Gay men and lesbians can adopt here in Utah, but not families. Hmmm. Isn’t there that whole “Families are Forever” crap? Apparently, that means “Families are forever as long as you are heterosexual, Mormon, preferably white, conservative and anal retentive.” Uhem. I added that last part myself. Actually, is all pretty much my quote.

Would someone like to make a wall hanging out of  it?

The good news about all of this is that change continues to come in small steps, even in Utah. Despite a plethora of AIs and some really nice, loving, caring people.

Salt Lake City Democrats Rep. Rebecca Chavez-Houck and Sen. Ross Romero hope to offer a remedy to families like the Beenys during the 2011 session of the Legislature, which begins Monday.

In 2000, Utah adopted a law that prohibits individuals who are living in unmarried, sexual relationships — whether gay or straight — from adopting or fostering children. Gay men and lesbians who live alone may adopt.

After pushing to change the policy in the previous three sessions without ever getting to a floor vote, Chavez-Houck has narrowed her scope to protecting families like the Beenys.

She and Romero hope to amend state law to allow second-parent adoptions — enabling a first, legal parent to designate a co-parent. The change would allow unmarried couples to adopt children only in situations like the Beenys’, in which one partner already is a legal or biological parent.

It’s a start.

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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One Response to Families are forever as long as you are heterosexual, Mormon, preferably white, conservative and anal retentive

  1. Lori says:

    Natalie,

    I’ve many gay friends with adopted children in Utah. They see the LDS Church as a wall. They simply step around it and live their lives as we all do. Life is truly all about work-arounds …. work around your parents, work around your job, work around your life, and in some cases, work around your religion.

    I believe we all try and do what is best for us and others. I don’t blame the LDS Church for anything .. and I could if I desired, but simply, they are just there like the mountains and I don’t blame them for nose bleeds. I have been ostrasized (sp?) in my youth by by “people in general.” But when you take the time to know all of the people in your life, and I do mean ALL of them, they aren’t “people,” they are friends. I never want to be one that labels ANYONE for their beliefs. Sometimes those beliefs get us to the next day … they get us to the next hour … they get us to the next minute.
    What I believe is a polar opposite of the LDS Church, I’ve no desire to confront someone without the backing of God behind me. He never sent me to label and judge. He sent me to love. He sent me to bring His love to His people. His people are all different makes and models, but if you believe in God, then you will believe that they are all His. If you don’t believe in God, why worry what the LDS Church thinks?

    Like

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