Love the sinner, hate the sin?

Heard this a lot in the past few days. Pretty damn sick of it. I always get accused of hating Mormons, which is TOTALLY untrue. I love a lot of Mormons. Just don’t like the doctrine.

So, here’s my new response to their “love the sinner, hate the sin” crap.

Love the Mormons, hate the doctrine.


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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9 Responses to Love the sinner, hate the sin?

  1. K says:

    I like a lot of the doctrine. Hate the bigotry? Hate the judgement? Hate the dogma?


  2. Todd D says:

    The problem with that is that it is easy to say and almost impossible to do. Besides, the LDS church is pretty clear that when there is someone gay in the family, you should ensure that you do nothing that would show support or acceptance in any way. Furthermore, I am told that I have “chosen” to live a “gay lifestyle” whatever that is. So how does that work? They love me but they don’t like my choices or entire lifestyle. Sadly, I really haven’t changed since coming out, I am still pretty much the same person, just much, much happier. There are a lot of things in my life that have changed, but I don’t feel that I have. I understand to my family I am a drastically different person because I have stepped outside the place that I was supposed to occupy and they don;t know how to deal with that.

    I mostly get sad or unbelieving looks after I am asked how I could choose these when I believe the same things they do. For me the church was just the culture I grew up in. I learned pretty early on that differences or opinion or some questions would not be answered and should not be asked. The church teaches you to seek for yourself, but they only mean as long as you get the same answers as everyone else.

    I have not spoken to my family yet since conference, but I will deal with whatever comes from it. I have tried very hard not to be the reason I do not see my family, but sometimes it would be so easy to walk away altogether and not look back. Going to any family event is like going back into the closet, and it gets harder and harder to do each time. Having to watch what I say or how I am acting is exhausting, and I don’t know how in the world I did it for 38 years…


  3. kelly says:

    Hi All,

    Maybe some of ya’ll can help me with this. Gays/Lesbians chose their lifestyle
    because God wouldn’t do that to them. It’s that evil that it’s not a genentic thing
    but a chosen thing. That’s what the packman said, right?
    Now when I was growing up I remember making decisions based on good, bad –
    pro, con on stuff like drinking, smoking, sex, which political party, drugs, job career,
    you know just life changing stuff. But I don’t remember sitting down and thinking
    out the pros and cons of whether I was going to be straight or gay. I do remember
    when girls and the green slimey things under my bed were bad things that I just had to put up with; and my buddies that I wrestled with and played sports with, and
    hung out with. Were just great and good. But some time between 6th grade and 8th
    grade it dawned on me that girls are probably a whole lot more fun to wrestle with
    than boys. Plus they smell mo’ better also. It’s been a long time ago but I
    remember something about hormones and how our little bodies and thought
    processes change. But Hell who am I to argue with the packman and the LDS
    church. It’s just that I just don’t remember having that back and forth thought
    process of am I going to be straight or gay.
    So did I just forget about it. I haven’t come to that part yet ( my wife would really
    freakout over that discussion.) Or I must really be missing something here. So
    tell me everyone. When in your life did ya’ll make the decision that you were
    going to be straight or gay?



  4. Suzy says:

    Kelly making a decision to gay or straight doesn’t happen that way. You say you never sat down and thought about whether you were either.. you just automatically were attracted to the opposite sex. It’s just that simple.. when you are gay you automatically are attracted to the same sex, but with public scrutiny you wrestle with it. I would never have “chosen” to be gay it was the way I was born. It was chosen for me..enough said!


  5. kelly says:

    Suzy go back and reread my post. It was made with tongue in cheek,
    so to speak. That was my point. People don’t sit down and make “The”
    decision to be straight or gay. It’s hardwired in from the moment of
    conception. You didn’t pick out the color of your eyes or hair either.
    You can wear contacts to change the color of your eyes. You can dye
    your hair any color ya’ll want, but underneath it all you still have what
    you were born with. It doesn’t matter how many phoney layers of BS
    that the LDS church puts out there. Underneath it all it still just comes
    down to genetics and not some personal choice.



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  7. Suzy says:

    Kelly I re-read your post and I stand corrected. Thanks for setting me straight.. LOL


  8. Just me says:

    Well, I dont think you choose it…I think it chooess you, but you choose how you live and with who…and if you are going to be offended or not.

    I dont see the need to be right. I dont see why if it isnt ok for the straight people to not like the gay people, then why it is ok for the gay people not to like the straight people. Isnt that sort of the same thing?

    I have lots of friends that I dont agree with, and I can love then fine, I dont live with them, and so I can handle the parts of their lives I dont agree with, isnt that sort of what love the sinner hate the sin is. This would include all kinds of things…religion, gender preerence, parenting approaches, wall color…ya know differences.

    Why does someone have to be right? What is right anyway…its a perspective…and everyone has their own.

    My ex-husband was gay, this was a rough realization for me, with my four young children. I was unhappy that he had chosen to try to be straight and not tell me he was gay that straight was a trial deal. Not fair to me, not fair to my kids, I think I should have gotten a chance to choose whether I wanted to be part of the grand experiment.

    I blame the lack of allowance for what he wanted to do for the pain my children dealt with going through the divorce, I dont hate him, I love him, I do hate that my children were hurt, hate that he felt he had to pretend, hate that I didnt know, hate that I was in that nutty whirlwind.

    I am not an advocate for gay parades, special luncheons.. I think that we are all people and there is no need for any special treatment for inclination, race, whaever, by doing those things you make yourself different. Just be who you are and the rest of the world should deal with you evenly. You dont need a parade to have value…you already have it.

    So sick of the debate about it…wears me out. The LDS church has a right to its opinion, the catholics, the christans, the Gay/Lesbian aliance, PFLAGG all entitled to theirs, and we all should give each other the right to that, without all the drama…


  9. Just me, you are somewhat right. The problem is to bring about CHANGE, we must speak up. It’s the only way. People don’t change unless they see RADICAL and “in your face” tactics. And that’s the bottom-line truth. I am, myself, attempting a more “love the sinner, hate the sin,” stance. But I think the sinner is the HATER who is trying to keep people from loving each other. Sorry to hear of your experiences. I have many friends who have gone through similar situations, including Emily Pearson. Just remember that your husband was put in a very tough spot.


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