Deliver me from separation of church and state…..

Happy pre-Independence Day, or as we like to call it in Utah, The-Pretend-Fourth-of-July-When-the-Actual-Day-Falls-On-A-Sunday. It’s our Faux Fourth.

Here in Utah, communities get to pick their Faux Fourth. They can pick the third, which our city did, or the fifth, which other cities did, but for all that is HOLY, PLEASE DO NOT CELEBRATE THE INDEPENDENCE OF OUR NATION AND SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE on a Sunday. Round here these parts, the only thing we do on Sunday is go to Church. Yup.

Okay, that’s not really true. More and more I see people out and about on Sunday, but the POWERS THAT BE do not let holidays, save religious ones like Easter and Christmas, fall on Sundays.

Today was our city parade, and I walked up from Birdman’s house so I could get some pictures of Dancing Daughter as she marched with her high school drill team. Lucky me, I got to stand behind the Family from Deliverance. It was a bit of a madhouse, so this was a plum spot. They had their eight-year-old daughter with them, and I bet she’s just on the cusp of getting her first tattoo. Oh, the rites of passage.

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There’s just something heartwarming about diversity in the middle of Saintly Utah. I was especially gratified when one of the Deliverance Family picked up a piece of candy that had been thrown out to us (that is, you see, what they do in parades) and chucked it back at the head of one of the county commissioners. It grazed her butt, as she sat waving from the convertible, because he’d already had a few beers and his aim was off, and she looked a little confused. Me too. I wasn’t aware that was one of our Faux Fourth traditions.

I personally intend to celebrate the Fourth of July ON THE FOURTH OF JULY. The way I usually do. Quietly. Birdman and I are going fishing. I hope I catch a big one. I’ll try to get pictures. And avoid the Deliverance peeps.

I’ll avoid saying Happy Birthday America until tomorrow.

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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9 Responses to Deliver me from separation of church and state…..

  1. Birdman says:

    And to think, I spent most of my adult life putting my life on the line for the freedom of a church to over ride the ideals of the founding fathers…oh wait, here BY was THE founding father.

    Like

  2. Todd says:

    Many Texan communities, including our neighborhood, are celebrating Independence Day on 7/3. Firetruck parade at 10 AM, hot dogs at the pool at noon, clowns, games, fireworks at 9 PM.

    I’m sure it’s because of the Mormon influence. 🙂

    Or, a conspiracy. Weren’t BY and SH friends?

    Happy Independence Day!

    Todd

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  3. Natalie says:

    Actually, Todd, I’ve talked to many friends in different communities who tell similar stories. It’s not endemic to Mormons. I just think it’s silly that ANYONE does it.

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  4. JulieAnn says:

    No, it’s a conspiracy. Todd hit the nail on the head. God doesn’t want us to have fun on Sundays. Fun=evil.

    But that makes no sense because many people I know have their greatest sex after a particularly moving church experience.

    So sex must not be fun for Mormons. Mormon sex=no fun. BUT….c’mon. I know that isn’t the case so we can safely assume that if you are Mormon, having sex is fun so therefore, Mormon sex=fun.

    If sex=fun and fun=evil, then sex=evil. On Sunday,

    So I think Mormons and Christians alike ought to ban boning on a Sunday, They can monitor us by sticking their nose in our knickers as far as they did the Prop 8 fiasco and make sure NO ONE has fun.

    Unless Mormons can figure out a way to make sex not fun (garment sex anyone?) But face it…. bad sex is better than really good church– any day.

    Happy ID, people and Todd–remember tomorrow. No nookie!

    Hmmm….

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  5. JulieAnn says:

    (ooh, did I mention I’m glad I like fun on Sundays?)

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  6. birdman says:

    Thanks JA…I’m off to have some fun before Sunday gets here and I get banned in Utah…

    Like

  7. Pingback: Sunday in Outer Blogness: Independence Day Edition! | Main Street Plaza

  8. Nathan says:

    Wo unto them that call evil good, and good evil, that put darkness for light, and light for darkness, that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! (2 Nephi 15:20)

    I am disappointed in many of the ex-mormon blogs because they are all motivated with evil intent to terr down, filled with anger, and sometimes hate, towards loving and caring people. I’m sorry you feel the way you do.

    The beauty and inspiration of the constitution is to give power to the people so the people can govern themselves. It is never intended to oppress, you could have celebrated the 4th on the 4th if you wanted to. The majority usually wins out under the constitution. At least it provides a way we can all coexist. I’m sorry you feel the way you do.

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  9. birdman says:

    Nathan, thanks for sharing…
    Your majority is only in this state…duh
    Most of the rest of the country celebrates when they damn well should, the anniversary of the signing…

    Like

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