One of the pleasures of being a member of my family or my friend, is you get to be written about on my blog! I know, I know, it’s why people line up for miles around to be friends with me.
Luckily for my friends and family, I use pseudonyms for them, so I can say things like this:
Yesterday, when I was driving with my fifteen-year-old, Dancing Daughter, she said, “I cannot believe these people. I hate people who don’t know how to drive!” The funny part of that, of course, is that SHE was the one driving, and I was in the passenger seat holding on for dear life. The child has a LEARNER’S PERMIT. LEARNER, people. That does not mean, “You are now a master Jedi of the road, and everyone else is a toad.”
I turned my head to snicker on that one.
Today, she got into the car (to drive, of course, because she is the QUEEN OF THE ROAD), and immediately switched the station from the 80s song I was singing along to, and it made me mad. I said, “You don’t just get to change the station.” Her answer? “I didn’t like that song. This is a compromise.” I think she needs to spend more time in her English classes, because by my book, compromise means you come to a mutually acceptable agreement. It does NOT mean the teenager switches the radio to the stupid rap song.
But I digress.
Birdman and I have a lovely relationship, and rarely disagree or fight. But it turns out that Gordon B. Hinckley, former prophet of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and master spinmeister, causes all sorts of ruckus in our life. Odd.
My personal opinion about Gordon B. can be noted here:
The day I wrote this post, I received over 167 comments (some of which I had to delete), and my blog received more traffic than ever before. But that wasn’t the day that almost ruined my life.
See, Birdman can’t really understand why I have such strong feelings about Gordo, and not, say, Spencer W. Kimball or Brigham Young. Or even better, Joseph Smith!
My dislike of Gordon B. Hinckley goes back to the Mormon murders, when that crafty little forger Mark Hoffman was creating all those fake documents that could make the church look bad and Gordon B. Hinckley was buying them up like they were precious gold, so he could hide them all away and no one’s faith would ever be challenged.
Of course, you realize the only reason he would FALL for this, and buy up these forged documents, is because he knew there was more than a SPORTING chance they were real. Joseph Smith was a grifter, and most of the world, aside from the Mormons, realizes this.
But when the jig was almost up, and Hoffman about to be exposed, he tried to take the heat off by killing people.
This particular paragraph from Wikipedia describes it quite well:
In 1981, Hofmann arrived at the headquarters of the Utah church with a document which supposedly provided evidence that Joseph Smith the Prophet had designated his son Joseph Smith III, rather than Brigham Young, as his successor. In a forged cover letter, purportedly written by Thomas Bullock and dated January 27, 1865, Bullock chastises Brigham Young for having all copies of the blessing destroyed. Bullock writes that although he believes Young to be the legitimate leader of the LDS church, he would keep his copy of the blessing. Such a letter, if true, would portray Young and, by extension, the LDS church in an unfavorable light. In September 1981, Hofmann gave the letter to Hinckley as a “faithful Mormon.” The letter was also later given to the RLDS Church. Hofmann expected the church to “buy the blessing on the spot and bury it.” When the church archivist balked at the price, Hofmann offered it to the Missouri Church, the Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which had always claimed that the line of succession had been bestowed on Joseph Smith’s line but had never had written proof. A scramble to acquire the Blessing then occurred, and Hofmann, posing as a faithful Utah Mormon, presented it to his church in exchange for items worth more than $20,000. Nevertheless, Hofmann engineered the situation so as to ensure that the document would be made public. The next day a New York Times headline read, “Mormon Document Raises Doubts on Succession of Church’s Leaders,” and the LDS Church was forced to confirm the discovery and publicly present the document to the RLDS Church.
Now, see, by acting as he did, Gordon B. Hinckley enabled Hoffman in his crimes, and yet stood back and pretended to be innocent when the chips fell. I saw the pictures of Kathleen Sheets, a completely innocent victim. I was working at The Salt Lake Tribune at the time, and we saw things that never made the daily newspaper. It was a gruesome murder. Hoffman was a lying sociopath. Hinckley was so concerned with how he and the church looked that he distanced himself from anything to do with Hoffman, even though HE was the catalyst.
Then I watched as he tried to “Mainstream” the Mormon Church into Christianity. I listened as he told Larry King he didn’t really TALK TO GOD, he just had “impressions.” Great. Just great.
Needless to say, IMO, he was a fake and phony, and I never saw truth in his smile or kindness in his eyes. He was the BP CEO of Mormonism, and Hoffman’s forgeries were the oil spilling into the water and killing everything around it, and he just walked away with his hands up and pretended innocence.
In short, he doesn’t have my respect. And Birdman does not understand why I am so passionate about this. SOOOOO I am ordering him The Mormon Murders and Salamander: The Story of the Mormon Forgery Murders. Both well worth reading, and both honest accounts of Hinckley’s involvement in the Hoffman Murders.
Since we got into a rather “heated” discussion about why Hinckley was so much worse than the others, we now use it as a codeword. If he says “Gordon B. Hinckley” I immediately shut up and give him dirty looks. It’s a real crowd pleaser.
I do not intend to let GBH ruin this relationship, so I’ll let Birdman read those two books and then decide for himself whether or not Gordo is worse than the others.
Incidentally, when I went back to read my infamous, “Gee I”m sorry your prophet died” post, the one that had all the angry Mormon mobs after me, the very first comment tickled my funny bone.
this is the worst site i have ever seen.
Gordon B. Hinckley was a man. He was a leader. He was a kind man. He was caring, loving, honest, true, humble, clean, and an awe inspiring speaker.
The people running this site obviously hold….none of these qualities.
Their research is untrue, biased, and otherwise unintelligent.
Do not come to this site for information. go to the real source.
Heh. Funny stuff.