Especially when they visit my blog and leave funny comments.
For example, meet our new friend, Jaycey.
I’ve done baptisms for the dead many times. Go in there with the right attitude and it will be an amazing spiritual experience. And the Church isn’t here to tell how to live your life, it’s to help make your life easier by I don’t know, making sure you’re not addicted to cocaine and having children out of wedlock…what a devilish church. Bet you’re so glad you’re not part of an organization where you’re cared for and looked after. 🙂
Um, Jaycey? Have you been snorting a few lines and burned up some brain cells? The UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT tells you not to do cocaine. It is what we call ILLEGAL. That means AGAINST THE LAW. Mormons didn’t come up with that one. And actually, let’s be honest. Common sense probably works just as well when it comes to knowing you should not, oh, say, COOK UP a vat of crystal meth in your house. Have you SEEN how they have to decontaminate those houses?
In short, your own BRAIN should tell you that snorting coke really isn’t your wisest option. If you really need a CHURCH to explain that to you, well, you’re a lot farther gone than you realize.
But, as everyone knows, when you don’t read your Book of Mormon regularly, and go get dunked for the dead, then you HAVE CHILDREN OUT OF WEDLOCK. The correlation has been proven. I think it was Boyd K. Packer that came up with it. Do you know how many MORMON girls got pregnant this year? I can think of TEN in my daughter’s class. And guess WHAT? She, a non-Mormon, is NOT one of them. How interesting is that? Can you explain that one to me?
Nobody ever told me baptism for the dead was all about attitude. I personally think the person who was responsible for baptizing Hitler should be crawling out of their skin right about now…. But hey, if you have the right attitude, that little swastika really doesn’t mean much at all.
We love and care for you. Just because you killed millions of Jews doesn’t mean you can’t be redeemed. As long as you don’t snort coke, and have babies unless you are married, all is good. Oh yeah, don’t drink and stay away from coffee, too.
The happy dunkers.
And then we have our new friend Hannnah. Yeah, three ns, I know. Suspect it was a typo, but wouldn’t want to be accused of taking something OUT OF CONTEXT by removing it.
OMG! dont post things like this.. im a Mormon and we are just being helpful you didnt have to answer the freakin door.. so get a life and dont waste your time putting rude posts your not accomplishing anything in life by doing this to Mormons, just thought i would let you know…
Thanks for letting me know I didn’t need to answer the freakin door. At our house, though, most of the doors aren’t freakin, or doing anything of the sort. They just open and close. I’m not sure what sort of a domicile you live in, but you might want to consider exorcism–or turning it into a strip bar. Pole dancing is very profitable these days.
Just let me make this clear. What IS it you think I was trying to accomplish by “doing this” to Mormons. What is this? Posting about my life? I don’t think there was a goal there. Just love to share. Also, think how much more amusing your comment would have been if you added a few more “freakin” comments. For example, “Freakin, OMG! dont freakin post freakin things like this.. im a freakin Mormon and we are just being freakin helpful you didnt have to answer the freakin door.. so get a life and dont freakin waste your time putting freakin rude posts your not accomplishing freakin anything in life by doing this to freakin Mormons, just freakin thought i would let you know…”
I’ve been around teenagers. I KNOW how often they say freakin.
Just for the record, I would like to suggest that Hannnah freakin go back to school and learn a little bit about freakin grammar and punctuation. That would make me freakin happy and her comment a whole freakin lot easier to read.
Time to get back to work.