So, the stinkbag, er, I mean, Stormy the Wonder Dog was looking (and smelling) a little ragged, so I made an appointment for him at the Petsmart Grooming center, because honestly, they do it fast, clean, and with little mess or muss. I know, I know, that sounds obscene, but it’s not. It’s just how we women want it. At least when it comes to dog grooming.
At any rate, after taking StWD in, I had a horrible moment of “failure recognition.” I am sad to report that not only was he the STINKY dog, sorta like the stinky child, but he is ALSO not popular at the Petsmart Beauty Parlor.
Now please keep in mind that today was Adopt a Dog day, and the entire freaking STORE was echoing like the Iditarod after-party. So I can’t really blame StWD. I think the groomer might have been on edge. A bit. I hope I don’t have to start calling him Stinky the Wonder Dog because they won’t let him EVER come back again. They didn’t SAY that. Let’s hope we haven’t been blacklisted. “I’m sorry, our next appointment is in 2014.”
When I got there, she was telling another groomer, “I swear, I called her three hours ago (try half an hour) and she said she was coming. I just don’t get it. He won’t shut up.”
This was after the speediest-grooming-in-the-history-of-man. They said three hours. She called me an hour and a half later. This is NOT a woman who loves her job. She’s probably a cat person. “Go over there and clean yourself.”
At any rate, when I told her who I was, she looked a little embarrassed, but not quite enough to satisfy me. After all, she was EXAGGERATING immensely. Three hours! Please. It was only half an hour. Plus I was at Wal-Mart when she called, and every time I go there it takes me two hours just to find the front door. It’s like trying to get out of that Harry Potter maze. I told her I was at Wal-Mart. She should have understood.
Finally, after I paid, and they handed the troublemaker over to me, looking NONE too chagrined mind you, I said, “Sorry he was such a pain.”
“Oh. Well. He’s very vocal.”
At least he’s not the stinky dog anymore.