Conversations overheard in carpool

Since we dance on the other end of the state–okay, not quite, but close–we do a lot of carpooling. And I loooooooveeee listening to the conversations that go on between the girls. This one happens to be an oldie but goodie. (Cliche!) Just had to share.

DanceDiva1: Oh my gosh, in ballroom I had to dance with this boy, and it was so gross. He had warty hands.
DancingDaughter: FORTY HANDS? How could he have forty hands?
(Massive attack of giggles. Finally subsides.)
DanceDiva1: Not FORTY hands. Warty hands.
DanceDiva2: What would you do if you had forty hands?
DancingDaughter: You’d have them everywhere. Coming out of your head and your hips, and your stomach.
DanceDiva1: Ewwwww. You’d have to get surgery and get them cut off.
DancingDaughter: But what if you could only get one cut off? Which one would you choose?
DanceDiva2: Definitely the one on my head. I mean, how could you walk around with a freaking hand coming out of your head?
DanceDiva1: I would not want a hand on my stomach.
DancingDaughter: Yeah, but maybe if you had a hand down with your feet you could dance better.
DanceDiva2: Either that or you would trip over your own hands.

Top on the list of reasons why we should find a closer dance studio.


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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13 Responses to Conversations overheard in carpool

  1. Cele says:

    Oh mi too funny and thought provoking.


  2. billdobs says:

    One time, or so I heard, there was this guy who had a dream that he was in a court room and he didn’t have a lawyer, and he was being tried about his life. And the prosecuting attorney, or so the story goes, was this genius. And he spoke with such eloquence that the man stood convicted on every side. It was all true what the prosecutor said about him; every despicable thing he ever did, every lying evil word he ever said was exposed and there was a sick and unanimous feeling in the air of the whole court room, even within the opinion of the man himself, that he was guilty and that justice would define him as condemned and unworthy of anything good ever again, so eloquent were the words spoken by the genius nightmare for a prosecutor. Then, according to the story I heard, suddenly there was another man who entered the room claiming that he was to be the defense attorney; that justice also awarded everyman at least that. And he began speaking on behalf of the man with such logic, that his words began tearing apart that sick feeling in the air. Point by point he attacked the facts with an eloquence even greater than that of the prosecutor. And after he had devastated the arguments, he went on to tell story after story of the great things this man had done. And it went on for many days there were so many stories to be told. And the at the end the air in the courtroom was changed and he was justified in being a human being.

    I saw the movie Gondi for the first time the other night and in the movie he was asked, what religion are you? And he answered, “I am Hindu, I am Muslium, I am a Jew and a Christian…” and I would go on to say that I am Catholic, I am Mormon, I am Born again… The only thing I am not is anti anything.

    Ask yourselves this, who was the prosecutor, and who was the defense attorney? in the above story? And which side of the law do you stand; behind which table do you sit? Which Lawyer do you speak like, and by this you will know who is the real master of the one speaking.

    Peace be to everyone. Love you guys for your convictions. Good night!


  3. K*tty says:

    billdobs Says:
    and I would go on to say that I am Catholic, I am Mormon, I am Born again… The only thing I am not is anti anything.

    Wow, I can think of lots of things I am against. Are you at least anti-drugs?


  4. azteclady says:

    Meh, K*tty, I read the whole thing as a slam *against* Natalie for perceived anti-mormonism.

    Wish people could read more in the blog before spewing, myself.

    [And I’m against self-righteousness :wink:]


  5. K*tty says:

    azteclady, I chose to not take billdobs seriously. He doesn’t think we can get the gist of that long ill contrived story, but he loves us anyway for our conviction.


  6. Todd says:

    Has feathers, a beak, webbed feet, and quacks….

    Would you like links referencing all of the mormon practices you’ve shown in this blog that you oppose?

    How come you guys are so anti-being-called-anti-mormon?

    BTW, you guys are great at nit-picking around the periphery, whilst never really addressing the substance of an issue. But that goes back to my duck analogy… 🙂



  7. azteclady says:

    Oh right!

    Everyone who is not mormon is, by (Todd’s) definition, anti-Mormon.

    But hey, it doesn’t really matter–the mormons will take it upon themselves to baptize those poor misguided non-mormons.


  8. Todd says:


    You’re hilarious…

    Anyone who is opposed to mormonism is, by definition, anti-mormon. Those of you who take it upon yourselves to ridicule and mock mormonism are blatantly anti-mormon.

    Why you have difficulty accepting the anti-mormon title is confusing to this poor, misguided pro-mormon?

    And; us poor, misguided mormons haven’t taken it upon ourselves to perform proxy baptisms. We do it as a direct commandment from God through His prophet, in a literal fulfillment of prophecy where our hearts are being turned to our fathers (and vice-versa). Ain’t it great!

    For one who likes to ridicule folks for not reading this blog before being critical, I would think you’d read up on mormon doctrine before displaying your ignorance. That’s downright hypocritical! 😉

    Yours Truly,


  9. azteclady says:

    Todd, you are… you.

    There is a difference between *not* being mormon — passive — and being *anti* mormon — active.

    But hey, since you are not Catholic, by your “logic” then you are antiCatholic.

    And antiJew.

    And antiMuslim.

    And antiWiccan.

    And antiAtheist.

    And antiBuddhist.

    And anti everything else you don’t believe in.

    You hypocrite you 😛


  10. Todd says:


    I agree there is a difference between being *not* something and being *anti* something. I haven’t been arguing that being *not* something makes you *anti* something. You’ve been arguing that I’ve been arguing that. Stop it! I’m not arguing that! 🙂

    However, by your own logic, mocking and ridiculing mormonism is an activity which, by definition, makes you *anti*-mormon.

    And, while I don’t actively (or otherwise) mock and ridicule any of those religions you mention, I have no problem with the title anti-whatever.

    I’m still befuddled why you have a problem with the title anti-mormon.

    Kindest Regards,


  11. azteclady says:

    Todd, I’m not surprised you are confused.


  12. Todd says:

    A personal shot to the gut…
    Sounds like acquiescence…


  13. Suzy says:


    Honey child.. I don’t like cows so does that make me anti-cow? Another thing I don’t like kids.. so does that make me anti-kids? Give it a rest already!!


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