Disillusioning Mormon mothers everywhere

Name: Lola Myers | E-mail: lola@xxxx.com |

I hope to hell my boys never met you. What a waste!

Dear Lola,

I not only met your boys, but we had wild monkey sex for three days and then we got drunk and dropped acid and THEN we lit the Book of Mormon on fire. The fire was an accident. Mostly. Did you know vodka works well as an accelerant? Me either.

Sorry,
Love Natalie

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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12 Responses to Disillusioning Mormon mothers everywhere

  1. C. L. Hanson says:

    Ah, the hate-mail bag.

    I get these only very rarely myself because my writing is pretty mild, but just the other day a Mormon guy spontaneously emailed me to tell me that my novel is a slap in the face to my family. And to tell me that exmos are mean and intolerant. Apparently his experience at BYU was very different than that of my characters, and how dare some characters in a book have experiences unlike his…

    Like

  2. Janie says:

    “I hope to hell my boys never met you. What a waste!”

    Tsk Tsk… Does she kiss her priesthood leader with that mouth?

    Like

  3. Caryn says:

    So mean and yet oh, so funny. I laughed out loud at the vodka-as-an-accelerant part. Oh, and nice swearing on the part of the mother. She learn that in church?

    Like

  4. Cele says:

    gosh did she ever think maybe you were happy to never have met her boys?

    Like

  5. George says:

    Monkey sex?

    Like

  6. Tracy says:

    Janie, that was hilarious.

    I was going to expand on what you said, but…must…control…myself…so…hard…(Screaming as I leave)

    Like

  7. Tracy says:

    Natalie, did you see this?

    http://fldsdress.com/

    I thought it was joke, but it’s not.

    Like

  8. K*tty says:

    Tracy, YIKES!!!! Some pretty scary outfits there! Maybe for Halloween ;>

    Like

  9. Renee says:

    You should be damn proud of that e-mail!

    Like

  10. Natalie says:

    Tracy, Holy Hell God. That’s all I can say.

    Like

  11. Sideon says:

    LOLOLOL 🙂

    “Monkey sex.”

    OMFG.

    Natalie, you and your blog bring me joy. I never get hate mail. I think people are afraid of rabid homosexuals – which is actually pretty sensible – because I do bite.

    Like

  12. Natalie says:

    Sideon, those who get bitten most often deserve it…..

    Like

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