In desperate need of a dog whisperer….

…or whatever amounts to one of those. Yep, that’s what I need, because Stormy the Wonder Dog is exhibiting some very strange and rather destructive behavior that needs to be curbed NOW, before we have to do electro-shock therapy or give him lithium. Or give the same options to my dad.

I’m just going to say upfront that I understand that this new behavior of his is NOT EVEN REMOTELY FUNNY. I know this, Dad. Really, I do. IT.IS.NOT.FUNNY. And I am burying my head under the pillow and fighting back these noises because I am so MORTIFIED by my dog’s behavior that I can barely handle the stress and humiliation. This is not laughter. This is remorse and… sobs of dismay.

I am dismayed. Because WHENEVER my parents leave their bedroom door open, StWD waits for an opportunity when no one is around, races INTO their bedroom, jumps up ONTO the bed, proceeds to paw at and dig at the covers, throwing off pillows and various bed accessories, then rolls around a bit and THEN he runs out and leaves it a HUGE mess.

Now, my mother ALWAYS makes her bed, and my dad’s theory is that Stormy believes that beds should NOT be made up, because my daughters leave their beds in such disarray that we often believe a tornado has torn through our living area. If you asked my niece, RubySue, she would let you know that this is entirely possible. Have you not SEEN Little House on the Prairie?

I suppose my dad’s theory is as good as any, but it only seems to pertain to THEIR bed, and Stormy doesn’t do it when I make MY bed. Of course, he shares this bed with me, and perhaps he thinks there is no fun to be found in tearing it apart, because he fears I will force him to help me MAKE it after he does his thing. I know my children’s minds work in that particularly strange manner.

Now, he actually started this a few months ago, but I thought he had stopped, and I was unaware his bizarre behavior was still going on, until earlier this week, when my mother said to me, “I am SO mad at your dog.” And then she showed me her bed, all torn up and the covers pulled off, and I swallowed all that laughter that wanted to come bubbling out because THIS IS NOT FUNNY, PEOPLE. This is serious business. It really SUCKS to make your bed, and then have a dog just jump up there like a seven-year-old boy and just jump around and tear it to bits.

We need an intervention. Or something like that.

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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7 Responses to In desperate need of a dog whisperer….

  1. azteclady says:

    As soon as I stop laughing my head off, I’ll think of something.

    Like

  2. Renee says:

    He sounds a bit offended about something. That one, though, is not a behavior I’ve ever heard of in a dog. Maybe he just thinks it’s funny!

    Like

  3. Melissa says:

    The bed is a cacophany of scent from two people he adores. He sleeps with you, so he doesn’t need to surround himself with that scent. Stirring up the blankets is a chance to envelop himself in their scent — a joyful experience for an animal who has a third lobe of the brain devoted exclusively to scent.

    (Dogs can, for all intents and purposes, “see” scent more clearly and better detail that humans can see visual images.)

    This behavior is, in other words, a huge compliment. That said, it’s unwanted behavior. Easiest solution is to shut the door AND have your parents give him some extra attention — particularly close attention of a kind he enjoys. To discourage the behavior, don’t allow him to practice when you’re not there to redirect. Shut the door. When you are there, open the dor and try to catch him going in. Then simply say no and redirect. Not necessary to yell or punish — just give him feedback and redirect a few times. As long as he’s getting the attention in positive ways, he’ll stop.

    Like

  4. Tracy says:

    Have your folks thought of keeping the door shut?

    Just a thought.

    Like

  5. Erin says:

    I had a rat terrier and jack russel/rat terrier mix who both slept under the covers in the bed. Whenever I would make it, I’d come back and it would be a mess – pillows on the floor, covers pulled back, and dogs back under the covers!

    Like

  6. Caryn says:

    Wow. Well, unlike you (yeah, right!) I have to say that it kind of amuses me. Of course, I’m not the person who has to live with this sort of behavior! No, instead I have a cat who poops on the floor and bites me when he’s bored. But back to the dog and the bed. Is it possible that he just really likes how they smell, so he’s trying to get a whiff again? I don’t know. I don’t have any other suggestions on that one except, well, can’t they just keep their bedroom door closed if it bothers them?

    Like

  7. Tracy says:

    Hey Natalie, as for what you should read next, what about this:

    Like

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