The reason I am so not getting good Christmas presents next year….

Dad: Wow, RubySue just floored me with her knowledge and understanding the other day.
Me: What?
Dad: Well, she said, ‘Grandpa, I know what the Holy Ghost is.’ And I said, ‘What?’ And she said, ‘He doesn’t have a body.’
Me: Oh yeah?
Dad: Then I decided to see if she really understood it, and I asked, ‘So what is he?’ And she said, ‘He’s a spirit, and he is there by us all the time to help us.’ I just can’t believe how well she understands these gospel concepts.
Me: Are you talking about RubySue? The same child who watched an episode of Little House on the Prairie with you, and then spent the rest of the evening hunkered down under the dining room table, yelling at us to take cover to avoid the twister–THE TWISTER!!–that was about to tear through the living room? That RubySue?

Mormona non grata, I’m telling you…..


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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10 Responses to The reason I am so not getting good Christmas presents next year….

  1. Renee says:



  2. WendyP says:

    RubySue cracks me up. Little House can be traumatizing. I remember Mary going blind, then having her baby burn up in the Blind School fire. And that crazy episode, toward the end of the series’ run, with Albert’s girlfriend, Sylvia, getting raped by that guy in that creepy white mask. :O I kid you not. (BTW, they don’t air that episode on KBYU–lol)

    My mom used to think my daughter was a spiritual giant as well. She’s now placed her hopes on Suzy’s son, Easton. He blew it recently when he thought her Lladro Christus statue of Jesus looked like a ghost and kept saying in a spooky voice, “OoooOOooo Jesus”, whenever he saw it. Haha…


  3. Natalie says:

    LOLOLOL. Wendy, that’s hilarious. I suspect Easton, raised by his parents, ain’t gonna be the next GA. But hey, ya never know…. And WOW, I forgot about the rape one!


  4. MLBower says:

    I cannot stop laughing!


  5. Cyn Bagley says:

    Snort! or snot, I can’t tell which it is…



  6. Caryn says:

    Hilarious! And children are really good at spitting out the words adults have told them, whether or not they really understand the concepts.

    By the way, glad to see you’re on Twitter, too!


  7. km says:

    It would be nice if people would quit infecting the minds of innocent children with religious nonsense. Children don’t have the tools to examine the claims of religion critically. They have it foisted upon them when they are too young to have any choice in the matter. It’s sick to tell a child this stuff. Unless you are simultaneously teaching them to think critically about what’s being fed to them. Then it could be useful. My own kids will probably never fall prey to a cult or any other form of mass hysteria because they grew up dissecting Mormonism. Needless to say the Mormonism that my parents were so desperately trying to indoctrinate them with didn’t stick.

    That said, though, when I was in college getting my degree in English I was sometimes stunned at how many biblical allusions were an enigma to my peers. I have Seminary to thank for a certain level of literary understanding, at least.


  8. Todd says:


    Indoctrinating your kids with non-belief is EXACTLY what you’re arguing against, only on the flip side.

    The question is with what are you infecting the minds of your children? Who came up with the doctrine? Has it been examined critically?



  9. Yahoouj says:

    Really good work about this website was done. Keep trying more – thanks!


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