Some students in the dark nether region of Utah known as Happy Valley–aka Utah County–have FINALLY figured out how people make babies. And they are pretty steamed about it. I understand. The first time I heard the story I was pretty disbelieving myself. “You put WHAT WHERE?”
But enough is enough, I mean REALLY. Pornography at Gold’s Gym? Who woulda thunk it? (Hear that thundering herd? That’s all the Trappees rushing out to get a membership.) Apparently, they are up in arms about music videos and movies shown at the Gold’s Gym that is close to BYU.
Dallen Johnson says, “I’ve had to leave, honestly! There have been four times I’ve run out of the cardio cinema because of racy and inappropriate things being shown, things I personally view as pornography.”
Jesse Yaffe says, “Once you are a member here, you basically don’t have the choice anymore. You’re forced to watch indecent material because it seems everywhere you go there’s a TV. They’ve got the Gold’s Gym membership network, and certain videos they play are extremely indecent, and some are outright pornography.”
I would like to finish writing this blog post, but every time I read these comments I break out into peals of loud, guffawing, unattractive laughter.
Honestly! He had to RUN OUT of cardio cinema FOUR TIMES? I would think his cardio would be, um, elevated to an even more intense level. Dallen is a SLOW LEARNER. I have to KEEP GOING BACK because I just can’t believe how APPALLING all this is… Dallen should take his sanctimonius little self back to cardio cinema and get a REAL education, because it might help him to understand exactly HOW to remove that STICK that is lodged up his wazoo.
And Jesse? Oh, Jesse, I’ve been there. I understand the whole “once you become a member you have no choice.” But see, YOU? You have a choice. DON’T watch. That’s a choice.
It’ll be interesting to see if Gold’s Gym becomes God’s Gym, and caves to the pressure…
And this? This was my favorite. It’s their FOURTH demand….
*Install blinds on the aerobics room to block the dancing, which is very provocative.
Muwwahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. By all means, because YOU can’t control yourself, please, let’s make sure that no WOMAN provokes you. Do these idiots not realize how stupid they sound? Of course not…