Ten Jobs I do NOT want….

So it seems that I am needing a job, mostly for the insurance, and it’s not all that fun to try to find one that wants to work around my weird writing schedule.

I’ve considered all manner of jobs, really. I’m not a snob. But I have to tell you that there are a FEW jobs that I do NOT want, and I’ll tell you why. And THEN I’m going to tag a bunch of people and play that annoying blog game that means THEY have to tell ME what ten annoying jobs THEY don’t want….

He he.

1. Banana Peel guy in front of Verizon Wireless. Boy, that was not an attractive costume. I watched the poor guy try to hit on a cute young thing walking into the store, and she blew him off like he was some sort of fruit…..

2. Advance Ad Man doing Crazy Dance for Snow Shack. I had NO real idea what to call this guy. But that dance.. whooowhie. Not cute. And his sign was really small, so for a minute I thought he was having a seizure or something and I was about to stop and do CPR. I had to slow down to make sure he didn’t need medical attention, and then I noticed he was wearing skater clothes (anyone who has a teen knows what “skater” clothes are) and so I then thought maybe he was advertising a new skate park. Not so. Good luck, Crazy Dance Guy.

3. Little Caesar’s Little Caesar. What is UP with all the dancing, costumed jobs out there? Huh? The one I saw was so dirty I would expect the wearer would need to be fumigated at the end of each shift. And YES, I am sensing a trend here. Natalie does NOT care to stand on street corners, costumed, shaking her bootie. As ample as that bootie may be.

4. Pizza Hut Delivery Driver. I saw a sign that says they make $13 bucks an hour, but I’m directionally challenged, and I see big issues with my delivery skills. Plus, everytime I put food in my car and try to get from point A to point B, some of it ends up on the seats or the floor.

5. Telemarketer. Hell no. Nuff said.

6. Mormon Church Spokeperson. I don’t think this one even needs an explanation, does it?

7. Any job that includes cleaning public toilets. I worked security at an athletic club for a while, and I’m telling you… How do you miss? Just HOW? I don’t get it.

8. Any sort of politician. I don’t want my children to have to hide in fear for the rest of their lives. I mean, COME ON. Have you SEEN those tabloid pictures of Jenna Bush? The girl gets a bit chubby, and the media goes freaking nuts.

9. Fact checker. I am not really sure what this job entails, but just the NAME puts me to sleep….

10. Britney Spears’s Public Relations person. The girl is a walking nightmare, ya’all. So, there you have it.

Considered yourself “tagged!” Come on Sideon, JulieAnn, Cele, Wanker, Sister Mary Lisa, and all you other regulars. Play along…. If you do, tomorrow I shall show you the most hilarious photo accidentally every taken. And by my sister, no less……


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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15 Responses to Ten Jobs I do NOT want….

  1. Pingback: University Update - Britney Spears - Ten Jobs I do NOT want….

  2. Pingback: University Update - Verizon - Ten Jobs I do NOT want….

  3. Cele says:

    Tagged, wow, I really took this seriously. Bummer dude. I duly blogged this indepth on my blog… but for the rest…

    1) Snake handler / hunter / milker / charmer – anyone who knows me understands
    2) President of the United States – I just can’t dumb down enough
    3) Prayer listening angel
    4) Athletic shoes sweatshop worker in Micronesia
    5) Ad rep who sold their soul to sell said athletic shoes
    6) Saint Peter
    7) Money counter in a casino
    8) Gynocologist or Proctologist
    9) Phlebotomist – needles are the snakes of inanimate objects
    10) Refund / exchange agent – especially post Christmas


  4. kd says:

    I cleaned toilets for the national forest. Being in the mountains all day made up for the terrors awaiting in the little wooden shacks.

    I think they should divide all of the really super nasty jobs among people with the super fun jobs and or well paying jobs. So, for example, you might dictate that all CEO have three public restrooms they must clean.

    BTW, I think some people decide to try hitting the hole from a standing position. Oddly there are others who do help clean things up.


  5. Jobs I don’t want to do… or didn’t like???

    1. Payday loan officer… there is a lot of pressure to get 20-30 loans per week.
    2. Cleaning a stadium after a football game (at BYU–it was nasty–all those dirty diapers)
    3. Customer Service–I have never seen so many mad people in my life.
    4. Xerox repairperson (see #3 for explanation)
    5. Cleaning toilets–there were some nasty thing in there.

    Well… I didn’t get up to ten. My doctor won’t let me work in an office setting either because of the germs. I can’t work in schools because of the nasty germs carried by children.

    I really enjoy working at home.

    Sorry you have to get a job for the insurance. Many of our Wegener’s G. patients have to do that too. They really have problems finding something that doesn’t put them back into a flare.

    Good Luck. Cyn


  6. INTJ_Mom says:

    Sorry to hear about your situation, sincere best wishes to you on the job w/ benefits search.

    It’s kind of interesting how the dress up character/mascot jobs are rather “in” right now. My eldest loves to be wacky and goofy and she thinks they look like fun jobs for her, but not during the summertime.

    I could name so many jobs I wouldn’t want to have to do – but cleaning and customer service would be at the top of the list. I much prefer being my own boss, I would have a really difficult time being someone else’s employee at this point.

    I received my form letter from Greg Dodge today indicating that my resignation letter was received and saying the church considers it a local ecclesiastical matter and the info has been forwarded to the appropriate Stake Pres. and Bishop. So we’ll see what happens from here. We sort of know the local bishop (he lives around the corner) and from what little we know about him he doesn’t seem like the type that would try to turn this into a big ordeal. He’s never visited with us in his “official capacity”, he did call as the bishop and want to come over a couple of years ago but we were busy with my inlaws in town for a few days so that was an easy excuse to say no. He never called back. However, we know nothing about the Stake Pres. and what kind of pressure, if any, he might put on the bishop. So, it’ll be interesting to see what transpires over the next few weeks.


  7. Kris says:

    LOL! I’m there…I’ll post to my blog.


  8. Elaine says:

    Sorry about the job/insurance thing, Natalie. I work at home and so don’t have insurance, but right now getting a “real” job (meaning, one you get up and get dressed and go out to) is out of the question because my mother needs someone around for her on a constant basis due to her memory issues.

    Meanwhile, and on a lighter note…I don’t know that I qualify as a regular, but I’m working on that list of jobs I wouldn’t want. It should appear on my blog soon. 🙂


  9. Natalie says:

    Okay, I see Elaine and Kris have played! The rest of the crowd appears to have taken a vacation…

    Oh wait, Cele and Cynthia weighed in, too. Sorry, gals.

    I have to tell you kd, that when I worked for The Salt Lake Tribune, I was eternally scarred by one of the stories we reported. I was sitting there the day the police scanners came across reporting that they had found a man INSIDE one of the pit toilets up in one of the canyon parks. Yup, a woman had heard a noise, LOOKED DOWN and saw him. I was never the same. I’m guessing Stinky wasn’t either…..


  10. LOL…

    You made my day. Yes, Stinky!!!


  11. Red Roach says:

    As a former Pizza Hut Delivery driver, I an attest that they DO NOT EVER FREAKIN MAKE 13 american dollars an hour.

    When I did it the pay was minimum wage + 50 cents per delivery + Tips.
    On a good night, I probably got near or broke the old 13 Dollar mark. On an average night, no where near it.

    Don’t let them full you.
    Delivery drivers are hard core fear junkies.



  12. JulieAnn says:

    I played a few days ago…check it out. :0)


  13. mlbower says:

    1. Taste tester for Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans. At no time would I want to be the person who decides if the booger bean has just the right flavor.

    2. Race Horse Breeder. I saw the guy on Dirty Jobs have to collect a sperm sample from a rather large stud horse. Then he had to inceminate the mare. It’s wrong on so many levels.

    3. Sewer inspector. Lots of rats and poo. Definitely not for me.

    4. Dr. anything – OBGYN/Proctologist/Urologist/Podiatrist/Dermatologist/Dentist. There aren’t rubber gloves thick enough for me to touch some people.

    5. Disaster Clean Up and Restoration. If some sewer backs up in a basement and then grows mold on the leftover scum, I would prefer to just bury the area and never go back.

    6. Nun. I don’t think this one needs too much explanation.

    7. Forensic Inspector. I prefer to believe that if I can’t see things, they are not there. Those fluid detecting lights could make a germ-a-phobe out of anyone.

    8. Slaughter House worker. I can eat dead animals, but I don’t know if I can stomach the mass killing of them.

    9. Paramedic. There was a lady who was taken away in an ambulance, but before she went, the ambulance driver removed the wedgie she had gotten when she fell. I just can’t imagine having to reach up a rather large person’s butt and retrieve their underpants.

    10. Any Form of Law Enforcement which would require the giving of body cavity searches.


  14. SML says:

    I did the tag. You’re welcome. 😉


  15. Sideon says:

    Done deal 🙂 It’s belated, but I did it, here.


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