So, tonight, after I got back from Happy Valley, I decided to blog my adventures in Utah County. I sat down, with my laptop and a beer, and started to write. And while writing my adventures, I looked out to see a man in a suit, advancing on our door. Yikes!
“Honey, the Mormons are here!” I yelled. So I answered the door. “Honey” chose to stay in place, for the moment.
It’s Sunday, there’s a man in a suit, this IS the Mormons, people. Just deal.
So,the man was OUR BISHOP. Now, first of all, I should not have a bishop. After all, many years ago, I wrote a letter, and threatened to dance naked on the bishop’s lawn, and then I finally received a letter in return, and was told I was NOT A MORMON any longer.
But this is not enough.
So, the bishop comes to visit. And the minute I see him, and open the door, I start. After all, I know my rights, which of course, I have none, considering this is the Mormon state. Bishop S. says, “Well, I am your bishop, and I just needed to visit you….”
I cut him off, of course. “We are NOT supposed to be Mormons. We wrote a letter, and we got another letter in return, and then WHOA, we are back on the records three years later–with many more members of our family, including a child named Robert, which must be a spirit child.” He politely laughed.
So, I explained all of this and then he explained to me, that my husband’s name has been removed (but it is STILL on the ward directory) , but mine was still there, and active, and that he just wanted to chat with us, and hopefully “fix any problems” we had with the church.
Um. Well. JUST TAKE MY NAME OFF!!
So, he says, “Well, if you will write another letter…”
Now here I balk. Because, quite frankly, why should I HAVE to write another letter? I already DID this people. So did my husband. And, as I pointed out to Bishop S., what point would writing yet another letter make? After all, I already did that, and it got me absolutely NIL.
I was pretty confrontational, and then I learned that my husband had CALLED the bishop’s wife, and told her that he was really upset we are on the ward directory. Because, quite frankly, an open directory means anyone at all can call us.
And she told him she would tell her husband, the bishop,that we were upset. Of course, given that Bishop S’s wife is about to give BIRTH to her TENTH (No, I am not lying) child, perhaps her reportage skills are dimmed.
So, you wonder why I say I am trapped? Please, ask my bishop.