A Week in Utah County–Happy Valley–Or, "Do They Really Have An Adult Bookstore Here?"

My friend Jenni, who just happens to be a Mormon, called me today bemoaning the fact that NOTHING is open in Utah County on Sundays. Nothing. Not even the Wal-Mart. What were we thinking going down there?

What, you might ask, was the Collins clan doing in Utah County? Generally, it’s not a hot vacation spot, at least for us. My parents, on the other hand, make a yearly pilgrimage to worship at the wall of BYU EDUCATION WEEK. But because I have a Dancing Daughter, as does Jenni, we just spent Wednesday through Sunday in Happy Valley. I have decided this is a misnomer, because the man who flipped me off after I pulled (rightfully) into the merging lane by Utah Valley State College, did not look all that happy. Matter of fact, he looked downright grumpy, especially after I blew him a kiss.

But I digress.

Odyssey Dance Theatre puts on Dance Utah, the very best dance camp in the state (and possibly the west). You can learn from Derryl Yeager, Veronica Yeager, Eldon Johnson, Thayne Jasperson, Tiffany Carpenter, Trey Barber, and more. At the end of the camp, two scholarships per group are given away. Those scholarships are highly coveted. And the opportunity itself is HUGE. So, since Jenni and I have DDs, we were there in Utah County. Jenni stayed at a very expensive hotel, because she needed a suite and a place that would accept dogs. We decided to act like Trailer Trash and hang out in an RV Park, because we have a trailer.

We have never stayed in an RV Park before. I know, that might sound strange, but we are campers. We don’t worry about hookups, and sewer hookups, because we usually don’t go places where there ARE hookups. You camping snobs can just get over it, because I’ve slept in many tents in my life, and I’m old enough to have earned a trailer, and a place to shower WITHOUT spiders. And I don’t pee over a bush in the middle of the night when any size creature could get a hold of me. Sorry. I may have a big butt, but it’s my butt, and I’m attached to it.

Again I digress.

So, we pulled up to the RV park in Springville, Utah County, and the surveyed our scenery. A lot of other HUGE RVs and a railroad track. My parents had told me this was the best RV Park in Utah County, because they knew the area. I guess I don’t like RV parks. We had to buy a hose and some sewer containment thingie that we have never used before. The park manager said, “Oh, so you are dry campers, eh?”

Say THAT without making it sound like an insult.

The RV Park was crowded and loud, the managers crabby, and during the hot, hot, day, the smell from the, uh, poop cooker (as CC called it) was unbearable. We were glad to leave today. Plus, the wireless Internet at the park chose NOT to work. Until yesterday. GIVE ME A BREAK!!

The good part? Dancing Daughter won a scholarship, one of SIX given away!!

The bad part? My friend Jenni’s phone cut out, when she was talking to me, just like it always does in front of the adult bookstore in Ogden. She thinks it’s a sign that God wants her to go IN to the adult bookstore. I think the POWER OF SATAN is involved. You know how sneaky Satan is.

So, is there an adult bookstore in Utah County? Because her phone died, just like it always does in front of the ABS.

We shall have to investigate.

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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15 Responses to A Week in Utah County–Happy Valley–Or, "Do They Really Have An Adult Bookstore Here?"

  1. miye says:

    haa haa haa!!! great story!! congrats to DD!! a scholarship!! How rocking is that!!! congrats to her, you and your family!!! 🙂

    Like

  2. Pingback: University Update - West 8 - A Week in Utah County–Happy Valley–Or, “Do They Really Have An Adult Bookstore Here?”

  3. congrats to your daughter!

    So are you going to be around all of the Pioneer Day celebrations!!!???

    Blessings,
    Karla

    Like

  4. Natalie says:

    Wull, I guess. LOL. Pioneer Day? How do you AVOID it here in Utah?

    Like

  5. that’s what I figured ;0)

    Like

  6. Cele says:

    Congrats to Dancing Daughter, what a coup.

    Like

  7. Cele says:

    Okay if there was an adult bookstore in Happy Valley would they be open for business on Sunday? Just wondering

    Like

  8. INTJ_Mom says:

    Congrats to your daughter!

    Like

  9. Sandra M Carpentier says:

    I am wondering how old your “nothing is open on Sunday” comment is. I recently moved from Nevada where everything is open all the time night and day. I too don’t find much open on Sunday, but Walmart as a corporation is open on sundays. Target is open until 9pm, they even have their pharmacy open until 6pm on Sunday. Albertson’s is open. I live smack in the middle of “happy valley” and while their is nothing of non religious entertaiment open on Sunday there are plenty of stores and even a few restaurants open.

    I to CeCe, there is an adult book store in “happy valley”; however, as I am not into that I won’t promote it by telling you who they are.

    I’ve only been here two months and it seems like I know more about the area than the complainers

    Like

  10. camille says:

    maybe stay somewhere where you can enjoy the virtues of utah, sorry you missed that!

    Like

  11. Tom says:

    I find it odd about what you complain about. I guess you really see what YOU want to see. Also the premise of your blog is confusing…”trapped”? last I checked people are free to live anywhere they want…if you don’t like a place, don’t live there. If you find yourself in a place you’d rather not be, I would think it would be to your benefit to find as much positive as you could so you don’t end up leading such a miserable existance. Just a thought….

    Like

  12. azteclady says:

    “Trapped” refers to the fact that Natalie’s name is still in the mormon church rolls regardless of the fact that she has asked for it to be removed–multiple times, in writing and following proper protocol.

    But hey, the lovely “if you don’t like it here, go away” is not unexpected. Have a nice day too!

    Like

  13. Hi fantastic little post below, was just wondering if i could quote some of it inside a post im performing (I will credit and hyperlink back again below!). Drop me a message if thats not ok. you can actually actually quote any of my stuff as prolonged as you hyperlink back again to it 🙂 Also nice template you use below would you thoughts telling me in which you got it :D. Sorry for my english 🙂

    Like

  14. Wow what a week you had in Utah County. I have vacationed there with my family and we had a very good time. There was plenty to do.

    Like

  15. Christian says:

    if you think that’s bad try having a yard sale in springville utah. you get sabotage by the police taking down all your signs. also you have to register your yard sale to the city I would not recommend living here.

    Like

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