So tonight, Dancing Daughter, hereinafter called DD, was hanging with her best friend from junior high. BFF is a cute girl, and we really like her. We would like to encourage this friendship, because, as I mentioned, BFF is a cute girl. Nice. Friendly. Honest. But, of course, we are not of the Mormon ilk, and BFF is. This, people, is Utah, and Mormons are in every other house. Sometimes in every house. Okay, fine. Pretty much in every house, you will find Mormons, Jack-Mormons, or ex-Mormons. This is probably a tenuous friendship, no matter what we do. As soon as BFF’s mom figures out DD is not conversion material, the alienation period will start.
While BFF’s parents are divorced, the mother is still very religious, and Mormon, and she has a thing about tank tops. In her world, girls who are not sluts do not wear them. She has bought some of the said HORRENDOUS and EVIL tank tops for her daughter, but they are to be worn under shirts with sleeves.
This is an indignity of tremendous proportions. I, myself, was forced to put shirts both UNDER and OVER tank tops. There was no tank-toppage going on in our household. And a two piece swimsuit? BLASPHEMY! I grew up dressed from head to toe, and I’m telling you, it wasn’t something I enjoyed. I come home, the bra comes off. Sorry, folks, I know, too much information, but PLEASE.
God forbid a man might have to control himself when he sees a 13-year-old girl and not immediately ravage her. No, no, we must blame the girl, and put her in shirts over tank tops. Or long shorts.
Back to the story, which, by the way, is true. Just so you know. BFF was going to a local store with my two daughters, who were both in tank tops. These are not hoochie mama tank tops. First of all, neither one has much cleavage, and second, I’m not much for the hoochie mama look. I think that children should dress like children, and tank tops are pretty much harmless. Especially the ones that have very thick straps, maybe two to four inches. Are shoulders nasty? Apparently.
So, BFF went to the store with DD, and CC, and she decided to ditch her shirt–worn over the tank top–behind a plant at her house, because my two were in tank tops, and it’s freaking 6000 degrees Farenheit in Utah right now, and so she didn’t want to wear the shirt OVER her tank top.
The consequences, as you might have guessed, were severe. Mother found the shirt hidden behind the plant. BFF was ordered to go home. DD is devastated, worried that her friend may become a “no more” kind of friend. Now, where do I stand here?
First of all, I do not dress my children in hoochie mama attire. Neither do I drape them in burkhas. If a skirt is too short, or a top too low, the children don’t leave the house wearing it. This has caused some discontent in our house, but we have standards here people. I know that if children learn hoochie mama behavior early, they will continue it throughout their lives. And if they learn good, upstanding, Mormon morals, they will also continue that… Oh wait.
The truth is, if you are a deep thinker, you will question Mormonism. And if you are a follower, you will accept and embrace it. If life scares you, and men are seen as abusers who cannot control their evil impulses, and women are seen as seducers, you will ban tank tops in your house. Mormonism, with its dictates on morality makes life easy. Or so it would seem. And yet Mormon women are raped all the time. Why?
A woman should be able to walk down the streets BUTT ASS NAKED and not be raped or molested.
RAPE IS A CRIME OF VIOLENCE AND CONTROL.
I have seen naked men before, and I have never been tempted to jump on them and rape and pillage them. Why do we make these excuses for men? I love you guys, but COME ON. The only reason TANK TOPS are a problem is because some MAN decided that the best way to control their sex drive was to dress women from head to toe, and blame women if they had to rape, because she was wearing a short skirt or a TANK TOP. Or maybe create polygamy and say God ordered them to do it, so they could multiply and replenish the earth (which needs ABSOLUTELY no replenishing), and thereby satisfy their desire to have lots and lots of sex with lots and lots of women.
I feel terrible that BFF got in trouble, but I did not encourage this behavior. Furthermore, I would say to her, or my children if asked, that she must live by her mother’s rules. No one ever died from being forced to wear shirts over tank tops, as far as I know. It sucks, kids, but it is life. I don’t take a child into my home, ever, and tell her to flaunt the rules set down by her parents.
Now, I am left wondering what the outcome will be. Does she regard MY CHILDREN as sluts, like she called her own daughter upon learning she was walking around in a tank top?
I am torn. I want to respect this mother. And I will. But, where does this end? When do we stop blaming girls for all the evils of the world, and put the blame where it belongs? On the heads of the offenders, When will the world be safe for my daughters, who will endure all types of indignities, in the name of religion, for men who cannot control their sex drives? Or who simply want to control and force submission? When will we realize polygamy has EVERYTHING to do with sex, and absolutely nothing to do with religion?
I speak to you fathers now. Does the little girl sleeping in her bed tonight DESERVE this? Does she deserve to be taught that her body is immoral, and that if she does not hide behind masses of clothing and cover, that she will tempt the devil? Does she deserve to be raped, or attacked, simply because she is female? Giving a 14-year-old child to a man in marriage is MOLESTATION. Stop excusing Joseph Smith’s crimes. Stop telling Mormon women that something is wrong with THEM because YOU cannot control yourselves. When you excuse this, you are also excusing the Taliban for their treatment of women, or the tribes in Africa that mutilate women so they cannot feel pleasure from sex.
Do you want this for your daughters? Do myth, and fallacy, and prayer mean more to you than seeing a young woman grow up, fall in love, cry, give birth, and feel heartache?
This is a crazy world. BFF had on a tank top. Somehow, it upset the order of the universe. I will never understand.