This is kind of OLD news, and my friend Dej alerted me to it (thanks Dej!) but we were having fun with the odd traffic report, so I waited to post it.
I know many of you have been waiting for the opportunity to vote Satan in as president, and now here’s your chance! At least according to Bill Keller, host of Live Prayer TV from Florida.
I love televangelists. They are so funny. I realize they don’t INTEND to be funny, but really they are. The only one I ever had any respect for was Billy Graham, but once his son took over, uh, no thanks.
Back to Bill and Satan. Apparently, he claimed in a devotional sent to 2.4 million email subscribers:
If you vote for Romney, you are voting for Satan.”
He also said:
This message today is not about Mitt Romney. Romney is an unashamed and proud member of the Mormon cult founded by a murdering polygamist pedophile named Joseph Smith nearly 200 years ago. The teachings of the Mormon cult are doctrinally and theologically in complete opposition to the Absolute Truth of God’s Word. There is no common ground. If Mormonism is true, then the Christian faith is a complete lie. There has never been any question from the moment Smith’s cult began that it was a work of Satan and those who follow their false teachings will die and spend eternity in hell.
Absolute Truth. Those words should be PLASTERED IN BIG LETTERS all over the world as BUZZ WORDS and a key to run like hell and hide under your bed. Really, this guy is saying what the Mormons say, but they are MUCH NICER about it. Really, they are.
I’m not kidding! The Mormon hell is not filled with fire, and I was always taught it was a lot like where we live today. I could do without the gangs, and the crime, and telemarketers, but other than that, I’m good with it. It’ll work.
But FLAMES! DAMNATION! HELLFIRE! If I have to choose, I think I’ll stick with the Mormons. Good thing I don’t have to choose….
If there is an afterlife, and a heaven, have you ever thought about how many people are going to be wandering around thinking, “HUH? What the heck is HE doing here?! He was a Baptist!”
And if there is a hell, I wonder how many people are going to be down there thinking, “But all I tried to do was make them RESPECT GOD! That’s why I set those bombs off that killed thousands of people. They were sinners! It was all for God.”
Stuff like this is almost enough to make me VOTE for Satan, er, uh, Romney. Almost.