Blessthisfoodthatitllnourishandstrengthen ourbodiesnameofjesuschristamen

Mormon prayers are very distinct, and it’s easy to pick a Mormon out of the crowd, if, say, the crowd is praying. We grew up reciting the same prayers over and over, and I can still say them. I can even recite the sacrament blessing even though I’m not a male, and certainly never actually BLESSED the sacrament.

One Sunday after church, we were saying a blessing over our food, and the phone started ringing, and my sister, who had just entered her teens and lived with a phone stuck to the side of her head, jumped up to answer it. “Jesus Christ?” she said, instead of hello.

Now, it wasn’t Christ calling, although given it was a Sunday, it could have been the bishop or someone else with churchly duties in mind. They probably didn’t mind being called Jesus.

Unless they thought she was swearing at them. I suppose that’s possible. But the truth is, I learned to pray early, and often, and by rote, and most other Mormon children learned the same thing.

Still, when I happened upon this little snippet on Dooce’s Web site, I had to share it, I admit to being a little floundered. Apparently, Kristy Snow, traffic reporter in Utah, has given a FEW TOO MANY prayers in her lifetime, because her traffic report ended in a very unusual, uniquely Utah, way.

It’s just too good not to share.

http://www.dooce.com/audio/fm100.mp3

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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26 Responses to Blessthisfoodthatitllnourishandstrengthen ourbodiesnameofjesuschristamen

  1. Tracy says:

    She may have a little too much Day Quill, God bless her.

    Like

  2. Cele says:

    Oh I am thankful I’ve never done anything like that. I loved the silence at the end of the blessing. So I have to ask, is it always a blur of sound that sounds like the words Jesus Christ and Amen might have been in there?

    Like

  3. Elaine says:

    Hearing that, what I pictured was all the people driving along and suddenly laughing so hard that they nearly drove off the road. 🙂

    Like

  4. Kane says:

    Ya that came out very drone-like. Obviously she wasn’t thinking, like most Mormons she just rambled off some nonsense that has been stained onto her mind.

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  5. Indoctrination at its best (or worst)? LOL

    Like

  6. Tracy says:

    I listened to it again, and she starts off bubbly, but then goes into this automaton like state. It’s like her hypnotism wore off, or something.

    Like

  7. Elaine says:

    Oh, to be honest, I don’t think it’s indoctrination so much as one of those instances where the mind just wanders off and leaves the tongue in automatic. I remember how my father, used to answering the phone in his office umteen times a day, would sometimes answer the phone at home with “Inspection” (that was the department he had charge of) rather than “Hello”. I don’t know how many times I’d talk to friends later who had tried to call me, heard that, and just hung up to ask me next time I saw them if we had changed our phone number.

    Of course, this is not a good thing to happen when one is broadcasting live, but it does happen to people from time to time.

    Like

  8. Jose says:

    Mormon automation? It was just a bad joke, for heavens sake!

    And about that phone call -who was it calling? Your story is incomplete and amateurish.

    Like

  9. Tracy says:

    Jose, get a life sweetie, it’s all in fun, or are you incapable of having fun?

    As for your question, I think it’s incomplete, who was it calling? Makes no sense.

    Like

  10. Renee says:

    I don’t listen to this particular station but I would have driven off the road laughing if I’d heard it live. Sounds like this person should be on KSL. Sheesh.

    Like

  11. azteclady says:

    Elaine, I agree with you–it would appear that the reporter got distracted and fell back on ‘training’ so to speak. I’m sure it has happened to most people at one time or another, but I gotta say such a public venue must raise the embarrassment quotient to the stratosphere.

    Tracy, I think Jose is having some reading comprehension issues here.

    Jose, Natalie’s anecdote is not only complete, it makes perfect sense in context. And the sound bit? I really would like to know if the traffic reporter’s bosses considered it a joke when they were made aware of the fact that *that* bit aired during her segment.

    Like

  12. JulieAnn says:

    Oh. My. God. She forgot “…and do us the good that we need…”
    She needs to polish up her rote prayers.

    Like

  13. Tracy says:

    I don’t think it was important who’s Natalie’s sister was talking to. That wasn’t the point of the story.

    I was having fun with the story sweetie, that’ not being ridiculous, that’s fun.

    Like

  14. Jose? This happened THIRTY or more years ago. I have NO idea who was calling. That was not EVER the point of the story.

    And how do you know this was a joke? I actually would be interested in hearing whether it WAS a joke, or whether it was an accident. Wish someone could tell me.

    Like

  15. Cele says:

    I’m thinking it was no joke, and being in radio I totally understand how we say certain things in rote, all though prayers and blessings don’t come immediately to my lips in a moment of multi tasking.

    Jose, get a life. Really please, a life, because you are being anal retentive here.

    Like

  16. azteclady says:

    Jose, I find it interesting that you come back to ask who was on the phone when you claim to know that *that* was not the point of the anecdote.

    But I’ll do my best to help you out anyway (see? even those of us headed for hell can be helpful occasionally).

    Natalie’s anecdote was NOT a story she made up, but a memory from her childhood, and something she shared as an example of a Mormon teen being distracted while doing something and thus blurting out “Jesus Christ” when it wasn’t appropriate to do so.

    Who was calling was irrelevant, completely beside the point. However, Natalie did say, and I’m quoting, “Now, it wasn’t Christ calling, although given it was a Sunday, it could have been the bishop or someone else with churchly duties in mind. They probably didn’t mind being called Jesus.”

    That, Jose, pretty much ends the anecdote right there.

    As far as the traffic reporter, who is being PAID to report ON AIR about traffic, ending her report with a mumbled blessing..? I’m finding it very hard to understand HOW that could be construed as a joke instead of a moment of distraction–which can happen to anyone, as Elaine and I both said before.

    Now… to the blog. Seems to me you are having some trouble grasping exactly what a blog is. A blog, Jose, is an online JOURNAL. It is NOT a public space–therefore, your right to free speech is NOT covered here. A blog–or a website, or a message board–is the online equivalent of the owner’s living room. This would roughly translate into: her house, her rules.

    You don’t like it? You don’t have to enter. Once you DO enter, you don’t have the right to put your muddy shoes on the table, though, nor the right to change the topic if you don’t like the conversation. She, and she alone, DOES have that right.

    Clear now…. “sweetie”????

    Like

  17. Cele says:

    Jose – yes I firmly meant ANAL RETENTIVE – why? because you nitpick at the crap that means absolutely nothing.

    First so that you are fully informed – Natalie has been a professional paid journalist. Oh, so AM I. In fact, I am in radio. Take my word for it, Kristie Snow’s blurry prayer at the end of her traffic report was no joke. In radio when we are doing two things at once we often go into auto mode. It doesn’t mean we are doing it right, we definately are not joking, we are in auto mode. Just as people on the air have stall words (these are also used by people in everyday dialogue) we have phrases we use by rote to move us along while we are fumbling with something else. This is far from professional but we do it out of momentary necessity.

    Secondly chose which you are because I’m seeing a pot calling the kettle black when it comes to stating your opinion in an offensive manner, on Natalie’s (note the proprietary aspostrophy s) blog. And yes, I’m a kettle. But I did not go seeking you out, you came here.

    Thirdly, I am not, have never been, will never be… 1) Trapped by Mormons (which if you watched the movie, you would see Natalie’s humor in calling her blog such) 2) Lost my common sense (althought that is relative) 3) been Mormon 4) been abused by a bishop (well there was Garro Bishop but that is another story) 5) sought out people on their own site to abuse them.

    Fourthly, Jose you say that only those in agreement are allowed thier opinion on this blog. Jose, have you noticed NONE of your comments have been deleted, censored, erased, omitted, or crossed out? Hense, no censorship of poor Jose.

    Like

  18. azteclady says:

    Jose/Charlie/name du jour:

    Do yourself a favor and read up on your first amendment rights. (Hint: you have the right to express your opinions and beliefs, and so does EVERYONE ELSE. You don’t have the right to NOT be offended by other people’s beliefs.)

    Natalie pays for the space, hence it IS her space. She can publish whatever she pleases, and anyone can read it, but (and pay attention, here comes the kicker), she and she alone can limit who posts. Natalie rarely does so, but she CAN. *That* ability alone tells you that she OWNS the space.

    And “sweetie”? You can wish all you want.

    Like

  19. azteclady says:

    Jose/Charlie/troll du jour said:
    “I like that “name du jour” ………You must be liberal and French loving, right???????”

    Your ‘reasoning’ leaps not buildings but entire cities in one bound there, “sweetie.”

    One thing you got right though (color me amazed). I could not care less about your opinion. I’m happy you have one, and are free to express it, though. But we “liberal and French loving” folk are generous that way.

    Like

  20. Natalie says:

    Charlie/Jose/Ding Dong,

    Your comments are going over the line. I don’t censor genuine comments on my blog, but you appear to be nothing but a troll. Playing with us from across the Big Pond. Maybe a frog, even.

    Keep it IN LINE, and don’t get personal here, or you will find yourself one of the rare view who ARE censored on TBTM.

    Like

  21. John says:

    I have it from a source at Bonneville Communications that Kristy Snow was hauled off later that day in an ambulance; she had been having minor seizures throughout the day, including the one that made for this very funny clip.

    As far as “rote” prayers go, I think we’ve all heard them many times, and it’s not inherently a “Mormon thing.” I have heard them from Catholics, Lutherans, and Methodists alike. Any religious person that prays frequently is bound to run out of new things to say… particularly in public prayers. But I certainly agree that Mormons are prone to slurring their words into long, incoherent sentences… unless you’ve heard the slurring before; in which case, you know exactly what they’re saying. 😉

    Like

  22. Hey John, thanks for sharing. That’s kind of sad. I hope she is okay.

    Like

  23. Tracy says:

    Oh, if it was a seizure, then I take back all my comments. There’s nothing funny about seizures.

    I hope all is well with her.

    Like

  24. Cele says:

    nothing funny about seizures. I hope she is fine.

    Like

  25. Rajaat99 says:

    Yeah, apparently she was all drugged up on cough medicine. Guess that’s what happens when you choose to do hard drugs. 🙂

    Like

  26. Eric says:

    What people do repeatedly is what makes them who they are, it creates habits. Being in such a mode to answer the phone thinking it may be The Lord Himself and Kristy Snow ending her traffic report like a prayer are definitely indicative of much time and thought spent on religious topics. I think it’s great that the people you’ve mentioned are conditioned to have good/pure things on their minds even if they might not be making an effort to actively think about them. There are too many people conditioned to say and do things contrary to what’s considered even remotely decent or appropriate.

    Like

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