FPR #7,895–Driving Natalie back to church

Our friend Trevor thinks we should all be back in church where we “belong.” After the morning I had, perhaps Trevor is right. After all, could this be mere coincidence?

I was scheduled to appear on the Z-Morning Zoo show, 97.1 ZHT in Salt Lake City, with Frankie and Danger Boy this morning. Well. See, there was this SNOWSTORM. And in Davis County it was not a little snowstorm. Even though I left my house at 7:00 a.m., plenty of time, you would think, for an 8:00 a.m. appearance in SLC, about 30 miles from here, I did not make it. Traffic was traveling about five to ten miles per hour. ALL THROUGH DAVIS COUNTY. Then when I FINALLY got to 215, and both the snow and the traffic lightened up a bit, it was 8:15. But I thought I could still make it. Bad karma was not following me, no. I made up some time, until a car from California (with CTR stickers all over it) swerved in front of me, right before my exit, totally rattling me. I was already a bit nervous and angsty because of the delay, and the snow, and I knew I was late. Now, did you note this important fact? CTR stickers. A message from God, people. HE MADE ME MISS MY EXIT. Or I am just a crappy driver who should stay home and never leave. Wonder which one? The California driver was obviously lost. I, on the other hand, have lived in Utah all my life. Again, coincidence? CTR STICKERS, people!

Next thing I knew, I was on 4400 West and 3500 South, with no idea where to go, and I just stopped and called the station. At this point, there was only a half hour left of the program.

So, I turned around and came home. And it took me AN HOUR to get home. Coincidence, you say? Bad timing, you think? No, it had to be the Mormon God, working in cahoots with Trevor, to get my butt back in church where it belongs.

Or maybe God was telling me to go to California. What do you think?


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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34 Responses to FPR #7,895–Driving Natalie back to church

  1. Cele says:

    Oh, girlfriend, what a morning. I suppose this isn’t the best time to point out you could have called them from the house and done the interview from there? Probably not. I should have told you that before you spent six miles and tons of snow driving. So what is a CTR sticker?


  2. Alice says:

    My sympathies!
    I am watching the snow come down right now, and avoiding going out and doing errands. When I finally get off my ass to leave the house, I’ll watch out for the Californa plate and the CTR stickers.

    so with the snow and everything, I think god is telling you to go to California – that’s my vote 😉


  3. Natalie says:

    Cele, Well, actually, that is what I suggested to Frankie. We’ll see. I really did my best to get there. Sigh.

    CTR means Choose the Right. It’s a Mormon saying, that started with rings back when I was a young Molly Mormon.

    Alice, I’m DEFINITELY thinking California…..


  4. Cele says:

    Well apparently the CTR drive doesn’t take their own advice, because they were driving and not parked on the right.

    I like the thought of Oregon better Natalie, but California is usually warmer. sigh.


  5. T. W. says:

    I always look for more natural explanations to supposed supernatural experiences. In this case, your cut-off man is probably just a little bit off on his interpretation of his CTR stickers. I’m sure he simply thought as he cut in front of you, “Which way do I go, oh yeah, Choose the Right!” and swerved suddenly, right in front of you. If he had had a CTL sticker or a more internal sense of direction, he would have missed you altogether.


  6. Danielle says:

    I’m pretty sure it was God saying that you should go to California.
    Didn’t you know that California is the new black?

    P.S. I’ve been reading for awhile. I love your beautiful words on mormonism. It makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

    P.P.S. Church is so last year.


  7. mlbower says:

    Is it a weird coincidence that as I am reading this post, there are google ads to report bad drivers on the side of the screen? Does someone sit around and place ads that are related to the subject or is fate saying that it was the driver and not the lack of church attendance?


  8. mlbower says:

    Ok. I refreshed several times to check on the ads. They change around a little bit so it seems to be a weird coincidence that they were all traffic related.


  9. Hey, I think we should INVENT a CTL bumper sticker, TW.

    Uh, Danielle, uh, thanks? California is the new black? I’m so in. And I agree, Church is so last year!

    ml, usually the ads on the side are about Mormonism, or how to escape it (Christian fundies), so today is a GOOD day!


  10. Dru Ann says:

    Sorry you had a bad day. I hope you’re able to do the show at the radio station. Perhaps tomorrow will be a better day.


  11. Jack-in-Jill says:

    While I have no *real* desire to feed trolls…

    ….maybe Trevor should learn to qualify his statement…something like: “….where *I* think you belong.” That would do nicely. Of course, you could always mention to Trevor that he could leave the church….as he ought to. ….or should I qualify my own statement?


  12. Jack, it reminds me of that lady a while back, the Mormon, who told me, “OF course I don’t need facts to support my testimony. That’s what a testimony IS! You just believe.” oooookay.


  13. Elaine says:

    Law of Nature: Californians do not know how to drive in the snow. Since I’m a native, I can say that with absolute assurance. Goodness only knows, I wouldn’t have a clue how to do so. That might not be a good thing, since the weather reports keep telling us that it could snow even here in the flatlands in the next couple of days if the front scheduled to go through can muster up enough moisture to actually rain. Not holding my breath.

    That does not mean that the drive wasn’t a messenger from the cosmos that you are supposed to take their place here. I mean, why would we want yet another CTR sticker back here?

    By the way, congratulations to you are in order, Natalie…”Behind Closed Doors” kept me up late finishing it the other night. Haven’t found many books lately that will do that. 🙂


  14. Elaine says:

    Oops! That would be “driver”. *blushes*


  15. Hey Dru, we rescheduled for next Thursday, so I’m feeling a bit better tonight. Thanks for your kind words. And the email you sent me about the book. SO glad you liked it.

    Elaine, I consider your words a compliment of the HIGHEST order. Many thanks, and I’m SO glad you liked the book. Tell your friends. Tell your neighbors. Tell your enemies… Okay, maybe not them…..


  16. T. W. says:

    CTL stickers? Ask and ye shall receive.


  17. kd says:

    I find it faith promoting to know that, in the divine plan of the Heavenly Father, the righteous advance the cause of the one true church simply by looking good while blundering around completely out of control. I read “Way to Be” by the current seer, relevator and chief profitter of the LDS Church. His wisdom is that just by looking good you might end up doing good.

    This is story is super inspirational for me, since I aspire to being a hair stylist.

    BTW, did you get a look at the driver’s hair cut? Was it is nice short modest clean haircut? I hope it was.


  18. Cele says:

    Now I’m worried, what does CTL? Before I hop- Gleefully – upon a band wagon I have to know what havoc I am about to wreak.


  19. Motherbear says:

    I think this was yet another example of Mother Nature exerting her ability to CTR and the California driver was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. This has been the most snow I’ve seen in years along the Wasatch Front, because it usually snows heavily;then melts the next day. I am well acquainted with the bottleneck that you refer to in Davis County. I used to work in Bountiful and considered myself fortunate to be going the opposite direction of the horrendous traffic. You have my sympathy, but please, don’t go back to church! You are much to intelligent to go there and sit through hours of droning on about bearing testament and life changing miracles from other members.


  20. JOOM says:

    What are the odds of some dickhead driver with the CTR bumper sticker be doing in UTAH? Take it as a sign that there are too many Mo’s in that state and go to California!


  21. T. W. says:

    CTL, would be Choose the Left, Choose the Libertarian, Choose the Liberal or Choose the Love, however you happent to feel at the moment. It is for us heathens on the left hand of God.

    I must say that I am having too much fun contemplating the CTR logo. What about WTF?

    Natalie, I vote that you stay in Utah. It is so much easier to be subversive here.


  22. T.W., how about Choose the Lollipop? Um, no. Choose the Lust? Oooh, I’m liking it. LOL. I ADORE the stickers. LOL. And as to the suggestion I stay here in Utah… Oooh, maybe I AM a subversive. I like that.

    KD, methinks you are channeling Molly. Yes, nice, cleancut, just an inspiration for the LORD.

    Joom, you are, of course, right, but like TW points out… I’m a subversive. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    Motherbear, don’t worry. After all, I’ve heard TOO MANY faith promoting rumors to believe any of them. I just like creating my own. Because I’m a SUBVERSIVE.

    Cele, just JUMP ON. Come on, free yourself. Feel the CTL. Choose the Love… LOL.


  23. Cele says:

    Of course I choose the love, but I really want that WTF sticker.


  24. mlbower says:

    I thought CTR was Choose The Ribs. Silly me…I was thinking bar-b-que.
    CTC – Choose The Chocolate

    I think that driver should have been paying attention to the CYM – Check Your Mirror


  25. CL says:

    I discovered this blog by accident and like it! I read natalie’s bio and thought that it lacked the sense of humor that I know she has. What if the bio read, ‘Natalie is a member of the International Thriller Writers, Mystery Writers of America, and Romance Writers of America. She lives with her husband and his other 8 wives.’

    I really enjoyed, ‘Behind Closed Doors’!


  26. Cele says:

    8 other wives. ha ha ha – oh mi gosh that made my morning.


  27. Natalie says:

    If there were 8 other wives here, this HOUSE would be cleaner! And that’s all I have to say about that…..


  28. Gina Ritter says:

    Definitely California! I’m in NorCal so it’s really frickin’ cold here right now (record lows), but at least there’s no snow.


  29. Gina Ritter says:

    I totally want another wifey around here! And make her really athletic so she doesn’t tire out. Of course, I still get to be head wife 🙂


  30. WendyP says:

    29 comments? You’re a popular gal.

    I finished your book the other day–loved it! Definitely a page-turner and ripped from the headlines, which gave the circumstances validity (Mark Hacking :::shivers:::). Also, loved the twists.

    If someone would have told me 5 years ago that there was fiction out there for disaffected Mormons, I wouldn’t have believed them, but then again, I didn’t know there were disaffected Mormons 5 years ago (besides myself, of course). Keep up the good work. You’re filling a previously unfilled niche. Thanks for “going there”.

    Is it bad that I pictured Detective Singer as a younger version of Clive Owen? Good times… 😉


  31. Cele says:

    Thank you Wendy…Natalie did you read what Wendy said? And I quote…

    Keep up the good work. You’re filling a previously unfilled niche. Thanks for “going there”.

    Thank you Wendy!


  32. Natalie says:

    Hey Wendy,

    Thanks for the wonderful words about BCD. Interestingly enough, BCD also appeals to people outside of the culture, mostly because they are curious. And I LIKE your idea of Colt. Oh yes, I do.

    Cele, Yep, read it, loved it.


  33. Hal says:

    Answer to your dilemma. Burn a copy of the Book of Mormon and put the charred remains on the front doorstep of whomever is responsible for this drive back to church.


  34. Yahoouj says:

    Really good work about this website was done. Keep trying more – thanks!


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