The Power of Satan

Mormons are fond of talking about the power of Satan, and let me tell you, that little devil is pretty darned busy. Whenever something is not PRO Mormon, you can blame the POWER OF SATAN.

I think this idea is growing on me. Perhaps I shall also blame THE POWER OF SATAN.

Long line at the post office? THE POWER OF SATAN!

Traffic jam when you’re already late? THE POWER OF SATAN!

Tom Cruise? THE POWER OF SATAN!

From now on, let’s call it PoS. (No, no, that is not remarkably like the acronym I used to use to refer to my now junked car. NO, that is NOT what it means.)

What PoS has affected YOUR life lately? Just curious.

About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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14 Responses to The Power of Satan

  1. Jack-in-Jill says:

    Hmmm…the POWER of Satan. I personally find that statement to be oxymoronic.

    …however, it would be interesting to set up a camera outside a door and record the reactions(sound included) of the missionaries as you slammed the door in their faces, screaming “AHHHH!!!! The power of satan…the power of satan!!!” Don’t forget to stomp away from the door for effect.

    …also acceptable:

    Answer the door and before they get a word in command them to leave in the name of “milk and cookies”. Close the door. Repeat as necessary. Once they leave, open the door and yell at them that the power of milk and cookies has compelled them.

    …sorry just random thoughts.

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  2. Natalie says:

    In the name of milk and cookies…. ROFL. Love it.

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  3. mlbower says:

    My visiting teacher is really nice and I have a hard time telling her that I just don’t believe the way I did when I was 9 and joined the church. Anyway, we had a really funny experience once when we, my family, were invited to dinenr at her house. We sat down to eat and a member of her family said the blessing. My DD sat smiling with her hands pressed together in front of her and then proudly recited, “Bless us, Oh Lord, in these thy gifts…” It may have been obvious at that point that we spend a lot of time with Catholics.

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  4. Cele says:

    I have unknowingly been blessed. Several years ago I found that Mormon Missionaries have no knowledge about The Society of Friends. You know me, I’m pretty open, vocal, and I listen well. One morning (before going to a funeral) I was cleaning my dog kennel and looked up to discover two unspecting Missionaries standing at the kennel fence asking if they could chat with me. Oh sure I had time and poop to kill, no problem.

    Stangely enough when I told them I was Quaker, they were the ones to ask questions about my faith. I never saw them…hmmm…or for that matter any Missionaries at my kennel gate again.

    My ex use to invite them and the JW’s in to talk about how God came to earth from outer space…Little did he know that idea is being loudly utilized elsewhere.

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  5. Tracy says:

    When people don’t use their turn signal, that was the PoS today, twice…no, make it three times today. (Le Sigh!)

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  6. Oh yes. That is DEFINITELY PoS Tracy!

    And yogurt with fruit at the bottom? TOTALLY PoS!

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  7. I think you may be on to something with that Tom Cruise thing…

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  8. I know! Tom Cruise, get thee behind me!

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  9. Bishop Rick says:

    Dang, I was going to say that TC was SATAN, but Natalie beat me to it.

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  10. Natalie says:

    Ha ha! Finally, I beat someone to SOMETHING!

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  11. Rebecca says:

    My friend’s car got hit in the parking lot at KOHLs last Sunday, she was getting her ox out of the mire, you see, but she thought it happened because she hadn’t paid her tithing nor attended church in a very long time. I tried to tell her that tithing payers get hit too, and she could have just as easily been hit on a Monday… nope, it was the PoG punishing her for her sins or “He” was not protecting her from the PoS she invited into her life, or something… it was all too complicated for me. That Satan is a busy dude!

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  12. Natalie says:

    I’m telling you, Satan is EVERYWHERE!!

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  13. Elaine says:

    My teenage daughter and a friend opened the door to Mormon missionaries once. These are two Christian kids with a wonky sense of humor. When the missionaries started their talk these two kids started chanting “satan, satan, satan” in raspy voices and the missionaries literally FLED in fear. I chastened them for being mean. But only after a good laugh.
    Where did they learn to act like that? ;-D Mwa ha ha haaaaaaaa

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  14. Dawn says:

    Now that I live in a Mormon town, I get the joy of being treated like Satan Of course I’m not a bad person but because I’m not a Mormon and am a woman with my own mind, I’m treated like the devil incarnate. Of course, they spend day after day after day ostracizing me after endless attempts to convert. Now they have started to goad me, asking if I’m pro-choice, then attacking me. When they found out, I’m not a Republican, imagine the shock and horror. Now my coworkers seem to hate me. So much for that nicey nice Mormon facade so many wear. Today, I slurped my coffee really loudly when a girl complained about the smell.

    Hmm, who knows. All I can say is that its not easy being a liberal, feminist, gay rights activist in the Burg.

    Oh well, maybe I should just sip cider, watch Flubber and make inane comments about horror movies being satanic. Nah, I’d rather commit myself to an insane asylum. Ah ha!!!!! I’m already in one.

    So let’s make a toast to thongs peeking out of jeans (always hated that but I sure do miss it in the land of garments), the F word and the sheer exuberant job of being able to be yourself that I once took for granted.

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