Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors and see all the sheeple…

While Democrats nationwide rejoice, those of us here in Utah are cautiously optimistic. We’d be rejoicing too, except the four of us are afraid we’ll be hung and quartered–and maybe tar-and-feathered, too.

T.B. asked if there was a “shakeup” in Utah politics, like the rest of the nation saw. I laughed so hard I spit Frodka (Fresca and Vodka) on my computer screen, and that stuff is HARD to clean up.

The news ticker on all the local stations went something like this: If you are a republican candidate, you won. If you are a Republican candidate, you won. If you voted for a Republican candidate, they won. If you voted for a Republican candidate, they won.

As Forbes said:

Reeling Republicans can take heart that Utah still sings its favorite old songs. Loyal voters sent songwriting Republican Sen. Orrin Hatch, 72, to Washington for a state record sixth term. And exit polls showed majority support for the Iraq war and for President Bush’s job performance.

When the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done.

On another note, I am saddened to hear of the passing of Ed Bradley, 65. As Bloomberg reports:

Ed Bradley, an elementary school teacher and pioneering black reporter who rose to the heights of American broadcast journalism on CBS’s “60 Minutes,” died today. He was 65.

Bradley was my favorite 60 Minutes reporter.

Godspeed, Ed.


And lastly, a Mormon scientist, who is CURRENTLY under academic backlash because of his belief in BIGFOOT, is also an ARDENT supporter of the Book of Mormon.

He says that pesky DNA evidence just doesn’t mean SQUAT. DNA will never refute the Book of Mormon!

“Ultimately we are impressed by the realization that the fundamental question of the veracity of the claims of the Book of Mormon lies beyond the ken of modern DNA research. The final implications of the book, as a witness of the prophetic calling of Joseph Smith and as another testament of the divinity of Jesus Christ, remain within the realm of faith and individual testimony.”

Meldrum will also bear his testimony as the truthfulness of BIGFOOT. Really, he will. I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. His ISU peers are not amused.

… many scientists are embarrassed by what they call Meldrum’s “pseudo-academic” pursuits and have called on the university to review his work with an eye toward revoking his tenure. One physics professor, D.P. Wells, wonders whether Meldrum plans to research Santa Claus, too.

As for me, it makes perfect sense. If you can TOTALLY disregard all the DNA evidence disproving the Book of Mormon, and spend hours and hours writing articles about how the BOOK OF MORMON DID happen, despite the DNA evidence and lack of archaelogical findings, then you just take the next step. If you can do all this and, faced with reality, finally end up saying GOD CHANGED the DNA EVIDENCE to make the Mormons rely on their faith (I am not quoting Meldrum here, but I’m betting he has considered this option), then Bigfoot is just a logical step.

And the Easter Bunny. And a Democratic majority in Utah. ALL OF THAT COULD HAPPEN. It could. Just ask Meldrum.


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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8 Responses to Here is the church, here is the steeple, open the doors and see all the sheeple…

  1. Cele says:

    I made all the natural assumptions through out the article…having to back track several times because I couldn’t read through my tears of laughter.

    Big Foot / Easter Bunny / Book of Mormon all makes a logical progression to me. But which came first? The Easter Bunny or Big Foot?

    Ed Bradley, you will be sorely missed. Vya Con Dios.


  2. kd says:

    I think it is a mistake to equate one party as the enemy. Parties change with time and location. I lived in both the South and in in California where the Democratic party was the corrupt political machine.

    In early Illinois, the Republicans were Joseph Smith’s hated enemy. For that matter, even today the political philosophy of the Mormon Church is more in tune with the Democratic party than the national republican party. Look at the history of the LDS Church.

    The LDS Church got its start when Joseph Smith merged his treasure hunting operations with Sidney Rigdon’s Utopian society in Kirtland, Ohio. The early LDS settlements were experiments in varying degrees of socialism. In some of the experiments, all property was owned by the charismatic leader of church. Polygamy really started as an experiment in free love, just as the hippy polygamous cults in Oregon got their start as experiments in free love. These cults generally vote Democrat or Green tickets. The early polygamists probably thought they were progressive.

    ZCMI was a co-op owned by the community. People in the community were only allowed to buy through the community owned co-op so that no money would escape from the community.

    The polygamous cults in both Hilldale and Colorado City are still socialist experiments. Notice how the property is pretty much all owned by the charismatic leader. That leader dictates what you do for a living. He dictates who you marry and can pretty much take whatever he wants from you when he wants it. In return, the adherents of the cult get whatever medical services, food, shelter, sex or entertainment that the charismatic leader deigns to give.

    Marx was born a little later than Smith. They both held the ideal of charismatic leaders with absolute control over society. The only difference was that Smith and Rigdon wanted to use a new religion as the adhesive force to keep the utopian society together. Marx wanted to raise the state to the status of a religion using a perversion of science called Dialectical Materialism. Marx and Smith had similar goals but differed in method.

    As for your wish that Utah had a Democratic majority. This could happen with in a single election cycle, but I don’t think you would like the result.

    The key to the political philosophy of both Joseph Smith and Brigham Young was that their religion would serve as a unified political block that they could use to gain influence in national politics. Remember, Mr. Smith had aspirations of becoming the US president.

    Now, If you look at the history of the Mormon Church, you will notice that the leaders shift their voting block between the parties.

    The next time that the LDS Hierarchy decides that it is to their advantage to change the party they’ve infiltrated, they will become the absolutely most dedicated Democratic group that you have ever seen. Of course, if that were the case, Orrin Hatch and this Meldrum clone you site would be Democrats, not Republicans.

    The problem is not that there is one bad party and one good party. The parties constantly change their political mix. For many decades the Party of Lincoln was trying to promote black rights, and they were the party of the conservationists trying to stop the damming of damming of the Colorado, the TVA, the over commercialization and exploitation of natural resources, etc.. When the Democrats realized these were winning issues, they sold out their support for the big dams, and the dixiecrats and brought the greens and civil rights movement into their fold.

    The issues flip back and forth. You may recall that in the 1996, Clinton sold out the feminist movement to gain traction in the center. Likewise, Bush had sold out the free market crowd and balanced budget crowds to retain power. Clinton’s gambit won. In 2006, Bush saw the groups he sold out voting against his party. Go figure?


  3. While there is nothing to rejoice about in the phrase “House Speaker Nancy Pelosi” I am confident she will prove unpopular and be gone in two years. She’s too much like Hilary.

    As a Republican who believes in personal freedoms however, I cannot be unhappy that Bush’s power is now somewhat limited.


  4. mommysix says:

    Very interesting, KD, and very well put. It is unbelievable to me that people do not research candidates before they vote. Bad in both (or all) parties – good in all. I have always felt too much emphasis put on the presidential position and not enough on congress. Keep on writing Natalie – I so look forward to your blog – gives this old lady hope with all the intelligent people who write here with you. Write on.


  5. Cele says:

    Mommysix, I honestly believe that the majority of people vote their party line. It drives me crazy. They no more investigate the candidates they are voting for, than they investigate the prescription their doctor perscribed for them. They swallow in pure faith thinking both doctor and party know it all. Doctors rarely have time to know their patients (history) and the parties are so deep into having a partyline that is ABSOLUTELY RIGHT that they have forgotten they should be responsible to the people instead of the party line and lobbiest who bought and paid for that party line long ago.

    While I am a register Republican (I keep meaning to re-register independent) I’ve long voted liberal and often democrat. This year I voted for a Pacific Green party governor whom I liked only slightly more than the two main party candidates. And everyone thinks I threw my vote away. Wrong. They threw theirs away because they didn’t investigate, they just went with the party line.

    I’m sorry if this was a rant, I didn’t intend it, and I meant no disrespect to Mommysix or anyone else. She was right people SHOULD investigate, sadly most do not.


  6. Pingback: Trapped by the Mormons » Blog Archive » Anti-Bigfoot

  7. T.B. says:

    Clean off your screen, Nat.

    I am still a registered Republican but only because I figure it doesn’t much matter anymore. The only candidate I seriously voted for was Jerry Brown. Du-u-u-u-u-u-ude! The others were all Green party or Libertarian candidates. None of which got elected.

    On the national side, I can’t stand Bush. A madman in power. I’d much rather have my president getting a bj in the hallway than killing kids for his daddy. How anyone can defend that man is beyond me. Well, that’s politics and religion – right. Things we kill each other over.


  8. Elaine says:

    I don’t know…I’m kind of looking forward to the comedy that will ensue as all those guys whose red ties are strangling them who think that Nancy Pelosi is the devil incarnate have to deal with her anyway.


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