SANTA WALKS AMONG US!! BEWARE THE GHOULS!!

Let’s face it, Halloween in Utah is a crap shoot, weatherwise. You just never know what you are going to get.

My daughters, for years, insisted on froufrou, frilly, barely there costumes, like princess dresses. These are not practical costumes, because you have to know that mom is NOT going to let you out of the house, in freezing temperatures, wearing little more than Cinderella’s dress! Better you should choose to dress up like the abominable snowman. Or an antarctic explorer. But you don’t see many of those at Halloween.

Growing up, we always knew there was the chance we were going to have to put on our costumes and then COVER IT UP with a huge coat and gloves, as it could be raining or even worse, snowing. I remember visiting houses on Halloween covered by a large, black garbage bag, to keep off the rain and sleet. Gee mom, thanks! Hard to see the princess costume through that!

We used to try and sneak out before mom caught us, and wrapped us up tight until our costumes were no longer recognizable! It never worked. My mother had five kids, eyes in the back of her head and spider sense. Necessary tools when raising that many kids.

The truth is, with that many kids, we never had storebought costumes. We had to make do with what we could find around the house. Despite that, I never once went trick-or-treating dressed as a good little Mormon girl in her Sunday best. I did go as a gypsy, wearing my mom’s old skirt, a bandanna around my head, and big hoop earrings made from string and canning jar lids.

Since I went without costumes as a child, I was determined that my OWN children would not. Their first few Halloweens were spent in costumes from Disney, that I might have been able to buy cheaper by hopping a plane and flying to California to get personally–Tinkerbell, Cinderella, Cruella DeVille. A few years after THAT phase, I discovered that Wal-Mart and K-Mart have cute costumes that are cheap. The last few years, I have discovered that my mother was not as dumb as I thought. “Here, put on this garbage bag and paint your face white. Wow, don’t you look cute!”

My kids do not appreciate the new me. My wallet does. I spent about $4.50 on their costumes this year.

Back to Halloween in Utah. I’ve always been a little perplexed, though, by the way Utahns (read Mormons) embrace Halloween. Most of the Christian Churches around here do not celebrate the Pagan holiday, and in fact, usually hold other events like “Harvest” festivals.

Mormons don’t seem to have the same problem with Halloween, despite the fact that SATAN walks among them EVERY DAY! I’ve never heard so much referring to Satan as I do when I get emails from Mormons. They constantly tell me that Satan is VERY, VERY real, and he is working his ways on me BIG TIME. Don’t listen to Satan! He is sneaky! He is conniving.

I’ve always wondered how they differentiate “Satan” from the Holy Ghost? Hmmm? How do THEY know that it’s the Holy Ghost, and not the bad guy talking? They don’t wonder the same thing. They figure if it’s a pro-Mormon message, it’s the HG, and if it’s anti-Mormon, it’s Satan. Life is easy when you are Mormon. There are no gray zones.

Speaking of that, has anyone else noticed that if you switch a few letters around at the end, Satan becomes Santa? Just wondering. I’m sure people like Mormons–people that haven’t noticed the fact that if you remove ONE LETTER from Mormon, it becomes Moron–are not going to notice that. But I digress.

With the strong belief in Satan, why, when they believe LUCIFER is so real, do they LOVE Halloween, with its ghosts, ghouls, witches, and Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles? Hmm. Not sure that last one belongs. But you get my drift.

Satan is REAL! He walks among us. Be careful tonight! Watch for people saying Mormonism is NOT true. That’s how you can identify him. Other than that, you’re on your own.

Trick or Treat!

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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7 Responses to SANTA WALKS AMONG US!! BEWARE THE GHOULS!!

  1. Cele says:

    Happy Halloween

    I have never understood the big todo over Halloween. I enjoy the opportunity to have fun, be merry, and a bit crazy. More so now than when I was a kid.

    The whole bit with harvest festivals drives me crazy. First they should investigate the whole Halloween thing and find out how much is based in mideveal ignorance and Catholism. Then they should do one of two things…either realise that these kids in costumes are merely looking for some fun and LOTS OF FREE CANDY. or don’t do ANYTHING at this time of year. Isn’t a rose by any other name still a rose?

    Natalie, my dear… and to all those who come here for a good chat

    HAPPY HALLOWEEN

    Like

  2. Umm.. well happy halloween.. and for the next day–all saint’s day– have fun seeing the dead relatives.

    For me, I drink some hot cider and try not to get the flu. With my immune system, I can’t even touch most kids without getting sick. DANG Goblins. 😉

    Like

  3. Brandyn says:

    First off I am not going to condem you for anything you have posted mostly the reason I am writing this is because I am a very active LDS member and I just want to commend you on standing up for what you believe in. I believe that everybody has the right to believe how they want to believe it is in the Constitution, this Country was founded by people that wanted freedom of Religion and to be able to make choices for themselves. I have been a Moron…ooops I mean Mormon all my life and I know it is true. But that is my right to believe that way. You or anyone else doesn’t have to believe what I or any other Mormon believe because that is their God given right. We in the Mormon Church are taught to respect others views and what they believe it is even written in the articles of Faith either 11 or 12 that states “Let other believe how they may.” All I can say is yes there are some very “Snooty” Mormons in Utah but if youdive down deep enough you will find that many of the very faithful Mormons are just average people like myself that believe that others have their right to believe what they want to believe. and what I say is I can love you for who you are but I don’t have to love you for what you do! What really frustrates me is people ridiculing me for what I believe to be true they just don’t seem to get the fact they don’t have to believe what I believe but it is ok for me to believe how I believe because it is my right to do so and just leave it at that! We will all find out in the end who is right and who is wrong If what the Mormons teach is true then it is true, but if it isn’t then it isn’t but until that time comes please remeber to respect what I believe and not try to tell me I am wrong to believe what I believe because it is my right to believe what I want as it is your same right and I will respect what you believe though I don’t have to beileve it myself and really I can’t tell you that you are wrong because that is your right. Anyway Enough rambling here Just thought I would voice an Opinion!
    Have a great day!

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  4. T.B. says:

    Last night one of the kids that came to my house had on a great costume. It was a black cowled ensemble witha white screaming face that resembled The Scream by Edvard Munch. Munch hahaha . . . bet he got ribbed in school. Anyway, the costume was patterned after the modern day horror flick ‘Scream’. The mask had a clear sheet of plastic over it and he had a squeeze pump in his hand that when squeezed (Why isn’t squozen a word?) would pump a cascade of blood starting at the top and running to the bottom of the mask. By far, the coolest costume I’ve seen. He got a bunch of candy from me because I made him keep squeezing the pump. OOOH GROSS! Do it again. OOOH GROSS! Do it again. Plus, my little buddy in the hood came by dressed as a trash man. He’s 3 years old and probably the cutest kid in the world. This kid makes me want to have more children. Then I run into one of the teenagers in the hood and all those warm fuzzy feelings disappear. Something about having to deal with tattoos, attitude and seeing their ass cracks when they walk away! Hmm, now I’m thinking vasectomy.

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  5. Bishoprick says:

    Brandyn,

    You are correct in your statement that we all have the right to believe what we will. We also have the right to create a community of like-minded people and blog about said beliefs. I am sure that no one on this blog directed anything at you personally.

    I am also an active LDS. I just don’t believe it is true. Way too much cover-up, lying, distortion, ommision, etc.

    Natalie has said this many times. If you knew the truth about the LDS church’s history, that the GAs work so hard to keep from you, you might change your way of thinking. If you didn’t I would understand though, because the LDS church is king at brainwashing. It starts in Nursery and continues for the rest of your life.

    Step back and take an unbiased look at the different classes, lessons, and talks. I think you will see what I am talking about.

    The LDS church teaches with fear and pressure, not love.

    If you don’t do this…
    IF you do this…
    Have you gotten…done yet?

    The only reason I continue to attend is to be with my family. I would stop tomorrow if they would.

    Like

  6. Angela says:

    Hey, I thought your article was pretty interesting, and actually laughed a few times… I am actually a convert to the church coming from a presbyterian background. I guess this is more a little answer to the comment before mine.
    I have never felt that something was hidden from me… ever. In fact the LDS church has only been supportive and understanding with me.
    It isn’t brainwashing to have something expected from you. Take it from me, sure, it’s harder when you have those expectations, but in a protestant church you come, you sit on your butt, shout a few hallelujiahs and amens and you leave, that was it. What’s the point of living if not to develope and grow?

    In regards to the article, Halloween should be celebrated however you want to celebrate it. It’s a fun holiday where you get tons of free candy and get to dress up as something else and have a blast.
    So long as you aren’t sacrificing goats and dancing naked in the forest… I’m pretty sure you won’t be eternally damned. ^_^

    Like

  7. ptfswlp says:

    For many have lived in troubled times in the rude and adverse
    gerard butler gay*
    dismal night for as Byron says

    Like

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