From the Mormon Hatemail Bag

Yes, it’s time again for comments from Mormons who find my blog, and then commence to ripping their eyes out from the horror–THE HORROR–of having to read such lies!

Today’s comments are from our new friend, Lynn.

Her first comment landed on the blog post where I wrote about my year end reminder that I was TRAPPED BY THE MORMONS.

You might remember that I mentioned my neighbor came by with a chocolate bar and a card from the Relief Society. On a sad side note, that same neighbor, whom I like very much, is recovering from cancer, so send your good wishes her way.

But back to the story. Our new friend Lynn wrote:

How nice to know that no matter where you are there are people who care and are willing to help you in anyway….by the way… if you tell the RS or the bishopric you want no contact from there members at all…. they will stop contacting you. Maybe you like it because it gives you something to write about.

Can I just say, WTF? How are these people helping me? The only thing a chocolate bar does is HELP MY THIGHS GROW, Lynn. They did not offer to shovel my walk, or tend my children. There was NO help offered. And if you had paid the SLIGHTEST iota of attention to my blog, you would note that I HAVE requested no contact, and I have HAD MY NAME REMOVED and it did not one damn bit of good. Not only am I BACK on the roles, but I am BACK TWICE, both under my maiden name and also under my MARRIED name, and I ALSO have a son named Robert that no one CAN LOCATE, mostly because HE DOES NOT EXIST. Phew. Okay. Hopefully I won’t have to say that again. A girl can dream.

Do your research, Lynn. Sheesh. Not only that, but you got so fixated on my ingratitude to the local Mormons and their chocolate that you TOTALLY missed Calendar Kitty. Have you no sense of humor?

Then she wrote this:

You said, “They believe that anyone who has voluntarily left the religion is an anti-Mormon.” This is for sure not true. I dont’ know one LDS member that believes this!!!

Geez, Lynn, where do you go to Church? Outer Mongolia? Now THERE they might not believe that. Other than that, what I stated is pretty much true.

And Lynn’s last little note:

The Church has NEVER said the members cannot have another ceremony. Some do. The reason why some don’t want to is when you are sealed in the Temple of the Lord it is for time and all eternity and you are sealed by a preisthood holder who has the authority from God to seal you together forever, not just until time parts us. Nothing can compare to a temple ceremony, so why have another one. I am about to be married for the first time in the Chicago Temple. I couldn’t imagine not having my husband forever, not just on earth. Only my immediate family are members of the church, and we love and respect all our non-member family members. They of course cannot enter the temple of the Lord right now in there lives, but I will have a short ring ceremony at my reception and explain to them the importance of marraige in the Lords house. Members are not on high horses or think those who cannot enter are not righteous or good people. Of course this is not true in anyway. But, it is true that the temple is a sacred place of the Lord. In it are the most sacred ordinances done on this earth. Those who enter must be prepared and must be worthy to receive those blessings the Lord has prepared for them in His house. Anyone can one day be worthy to enter and the Lord wants all of His children to one day be worthy to enter.

Muuuwaahhhhahahhhhaaaaaaaaa. I just about spewed on my computer when I really sat down and read this one. I just kind of glanced over it before. But are you freaking kidding me? (Did you notice how well I am doing on my bid not to use profanity so much?)

So glad you are going to explain to your NON MEMBER family and friends why they can’t see you married, and how they are not currently WORTHY to enter THE HOUSE OF THE LORD, but how important it is, and how much more special YOU are because you get to wear ugly underwear. But you aren’t on any fucking high horse. Ooops. I swore. It’s hard to control it in the face of such sheer arrogance.

You are talking about a church who keeps their temple ceremony SECRET because it’s so silly. You are talking about a church that has to resort to LYING and DECEPTION to convert prospective members. YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT A CHURCH that consistently revises and hides its history.

This is truth? “Yes, we have on the only True Church. But I must lie to you first to lure you in while I convince you.”

Sheesh.

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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31 Responses to From the Mormon Hatemail Bag

  1. Ah, nothing like late night insomnia. I always enjoy your responses to Mormon Hatemail and hope to receive some on my blog someday. It may be that I’m too nice to them in general, though, and do not have published novels read in Morridor where the shadows of Mormonism lie.

    Like

  2. Natalie says:

    I can certainly HEAD them over your way, Sinister! In fact, I know I added your link to my Outer Blogness links. I love that title.

    I really don’t want to think I’m mean. Just honest. Because if they can be nasty to me, I can be honest (and slightly snide) back, right?

    Like

  3. Tracy says:

    I have been reading your blog for over a week now, and I figured out fairly quickly, you asked for your name to be removed from the rolls, but your name is there, not once, but twice, and you have a non exsistant son on the rolls.

    You would like nothing better then to leave the religion alone, but just like the Godfather, they keep pulling you back in.

    Of course, I don’t have my happy valley colored glasses on, and I drink tea, so I may not be qualifyed to comment.

    Like

  4. MLBower says:

    I don’t think that it’s a matter of the church telling people that they can’t have another ceremony, but rather imposing eternal consequences on them if they don’t. That’s a lot of pressure. The part that reall got me was the “secret” aspect of it to where the entire family is not invited. My guest list would have been awefully bare if they had to be temple worthy. I just can’t condone any practice that would have excluded my sweet little grandmother, who was in regular attendacnce at a Weslyan church. Thus we were married in a Lutheran church before God and witnesses.

    Like

  5. Moon says:

    Lynn said,”Nothing can compare to a temple wedding.”
    Noticing that she is about to endure one, and then have a beautiful ring ceremony at her reception, I wonder which she will appreciate more.

    Like

  6. Bob says:

    I loved the part about the priesthood holder that has authority from god. I can imagine they schedule (God) him or her to come down on thursday between rounds of golf to get a bunch or priests together to give the authority class. You know it really is silly to think these people have a special power given by god when really they were given their power by some other power from the church. I do believe in a higher being because I have felt faith at work. However I guess I am non denomiational as I refuse to believe only on bunch got it just right and the rest of the poor suckers can’t get into heaven. It is really a stupid concept if you really believe that god is forgiving and all good. I guess people like to believe that are part of teh special club that is the only ones that are going to get in. For me I will live my life the best I can and try not to hurt others and help when I can as see how it all works out.

    ol bob

    Like

  7. Howy says:

    Ugh, I really wanted to get away from all this nonsense. You can almost see this poor girl standing in a puddle of momo-whitewash. Is this induced by female hysteria?

    For the life of me I can’t see how a reasoning person could actually believe this garbage. Besides, it’s football season and GOD is way too busy answering the prayers of all the players and fans to attend a temple ceremony.

    Like

  8. Elaine says:

    Yeah. I really want to be invited to a party to celebrate someone’s marriage, and then be lectured on how I wasn’t worthy to go to the actual wedding because I’m, oh, a Bad Person. Uh-huh. That’ll really make me want to go to their church.

    Not.

    Like

  9. Cele says:

    I love that she’s not married yet, THEREFORE SHE HAS NO IDEA what hocus pocus will happen to her when she has her temple wedding. Hmmmm, what will the name of the day be? Mary? Sarah? Miriam?

    I agree with you all, what arrogance, but I will add another – what ignorance.

    She did make for humorous reading, though.

    Like

  10. Wendy says:

    Oh Lynn! I’m going to give you a pass. I was JUST LIKE YOU before my temple wedding…trying to explain to my dear grandma why she couldn’t attend–because she wasn’t worthy to enter the House of the Lord. I cringe when I think back on that now.

    It took the truly bizarre endowment ceremony before my temple marriage to start waking me up to what a fraud the church really is and then years and years of thinking for myself afterward. Lynn may be starting on that same path.

    Good luck Lynn!

    Like

  11. amy says:

    I have to say a BIG WTF to that seriously deranged “sister”. I left the church five months ago …I think they are afraid I am going to spread “ANTI” to others…they have avoided me like the plauge!! SOOOOOOOOO happy, lucky me!

    Like

  12. Natalie says:

    Yes, I found it amusing that she has not YET endured that WONDERFUL temple ceremony. I know it’s changed the minds of QUITE a few people.

    Like

  13. Summer says:

    I’m clueless.
    What is bizarre about the temple ceremony?

    Like

  14. desi says:

    Wow! and to think we mere Christians(I’m sorry, Mormon’s in my opinion are not Christians) think of the Lord’s house, NOT as a hotel for Saints, BUT A HOSPITAL FOR SINNERS. (that’s why we ALL go) we’re all sinners,sAVED BY GRACE. For a person not a Christian to not be let in a Church is an insult to God (or more) THAT PEOPLE, IS WHY HIS CHURCH EXISTS

    Like

  15. Wendy says:

    Summer, the temple ceremony is completely different than anything you would experience at regular church services. The best thing to do to find out more, would be to do a Google search using the keywords: lds temple ceremony or see this link: http://home.teleport.com/~packham/temples.htm

    Like

  16. mommysix says:

    Some very good comments. I do indeed feel sorrow for Lynn’s extended family for having to “wait out side”. I’m sure there are lots of good people there that will miss out. To me, it sounds like her little soon to be wed nose is a little to high in the sky – Hope she’ll make it through the years without scars like so many of us have. Here is to continued bliss!

    Like

  17. azteclady says:

    I keep trying to imagine telling my mother, or grandmother, or any other relative for that matter, that they are not good enough to attend my *real* wedding… and keep cracking up. I can just see their reaction! “Who the hell do you think you are, missy? Get off your high horse!” See, there are interfaith marriages in my family, and in none of them did the heathens have to sit outside. But hey, good luck to Lynn–maybe her bubble won’t burst!

    Like

  18. MLBower says:

    I just read through the article on temple ceremony. I think back to when I was a teen and there was a temple trip planned for the summer. I didn’t go because I was out of the state. It’s probably a really good thing because I wouldn’t have taken some of those rituals very well.

    Like

  19. azteclady says:

    Wendy, thank you much for that link–excellent information!

    My most favorite bit (stolen shamelessly) is about marriage *evil grin*

    “Marriage for Eternity. Jesus criticized the Sadducees for asking him, referring to a woman who had had several husbands in this life, which husband she would be married to in heaven. He said that the question was irrelevant, since there is no marriage in heaven. (Matt 22:23-30, Mark 12:18-25, Luke 20:27-36).”

    So Jesus speaks, then the Book of Mormon shuts him up?

    Like

  20. Lyndsey says:

    I actually heard a talk by some BYU professor on the verses that azteclady mentions. He said that it is obvious that Jesus is talking about eternal marriage, the woman was not sealed to any of the husbands that is the reason why she would not be the wife of any of the brothers. According to him, Jesus must have been talking about the subject for the Sadducees to even bring it up. I thought that was interesting because in my Bible there is no reference to eternal marriage before these verses. Anyway, how do Mormons explain this verse, “When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” Seems pretty clear to me.

    Like

  21. azteclady says:

    Lyndsay, personally I think that there’s a class somewhere, “The Art of the Slant 101” You know, so they can spin anything and everything, and end up chanting, “according to the Book of Mormon [i](or any other religious text of your preference–slant and spin are not religion specific, just look at the Pope *sigh*)[/i]

    Like

  22. Mary says:

    >

    Someday I think–hope–Lynn will have grown up enough to cringe at ever having made this statement. The arrogance is palpable. How insulting to imply that marriages outside of the “Lord’s house” are somehow lesser in value. I bet a good number of her non-Mormon relatives are married; it’s nice that they can spend the time and money to attend her second-tier ceremony and give her a gift, all for the privilege of being told that they are not worthy of watching her get married, and that their marriages are not as good as hers.

    Like

  23. MLBower says:

    I just re-read some of this and have to point out a few more things.
    1. Lynn stated that she is about to be married for the first time in the Temple. When is the second time?
    2. How would she know that nothing can compare to a temple ceremony if she has never had one?
    3. A wedding is a special day, but it is only one day. The ceremony isn’t as important as the marriage.
    4. Lynn worries so much about the location of the event. Does that mean that if those same vows were said in a meadow that they would mean less?
    5. It’s a good thing that errors in spelling, grammer and sentence structure do not make a person less “worthy”.

    Like

  24. ReligionGuru says:

    The Adam & Eve story is taken from a Chaldean myth. It never really happened. Christians say we need a savior, since those people in the garden were disobedient. Since the Adam & Eve story never really happened, we DO NOT need a savior. We are our own savior. By trying to live a righteous life, we progress thru many lifetimes to a perfected state.

    LOVE TO ALL

    Like

  25. Kita Kazoo says:

    First they leave you outside while they get married and later they won’t hang your picture in their livingroom, because your tattoos and clothes don’t go with the pictures of the temple… and then when the grandkids come they tell you to repent so you can see them… Family is forever? I certainly hope not.

    Do I sound bitter?

    Like

  26. koriWhore says:

    To Lynn: It’s been awhile for me since my temple marriage. But I swear the ceremony never said anything about loving one another. It seemed that all the promises that were made were those made to the church–married to the church rather than being married to each other. Keep that in mind as you go thru it and report back if you would, AND answer the question another poster asked (above): “What is offensive about a temple marriage?”, cause, girl, you gonna be an EXPERT shortly. Thanks Lynn. and best wishes on your marriage!

    Like

  27. faithfulLDSmember says:

    I randomly came across this… thing, blog/site, whatever when I was searching for help on an LDS marriage. Imagine my shock when I pulled it up to read all this hatemail about Mormons. All I can say is that I’m rather sad for all of you and I will pray for you.

    Like

  28. Howy says:

    If you pray for me, faithfulLDSmember, please pray to the universe because the LDS version of God is not something I want on my side. Better Hell than an eternity with a bunch of self righteous Momos.

    Like

  29. Dawn says:

    All I can say FaithfulLDSMember is that you Mormons need to look at yourselves and try to at least understand why some people are offended by your holier than thou ways. If you make yourself an object of dislike, then you will be disliked. I’m kind of sad that living amongst the Mormons has made me dislike them. There are good people that are Mormons but sadly, most come across as intolerant and rude.

    Look in the mirror or around you and maybe you will see why blogs like this exist.

    Like

  30. Dawn says:

    You could say that I am living the nightmare. I am a non mormon who married a mormon. He was a lying, cheating, silent treatment man. I felt like I was in a prison. His family could never accept that I wasn’t one of them. As time went on I felt like I knew him less and less. He lived a double life. After 10 years of marraige I began to find out the truth. So many lies, so many women, pornography, cover-ups, secrets kept. The secrets only stay hidden for so long. When I said enough is enough and he was caught in his lies he said it was because I wasn’t becoming a mormon. His family was glad that our marriage ended, they were thrilled when he married a mormon girl even though she had been married 3 times before and was married when they became involved. She has 5 children with 4 different men. But because they go to church it is all good. His own 5 children that him and I have together have taken second place because they now have a baby together. He owes $55K in back child support arrears and wants me to forgive that amount so that he and his new wife can be married in the temple. I say when hell freezes over. I have never been treated with so much rejection in all of my life because I wasn’t one of the chosen few. My stomach turns to hear that a mormon is running for president and he has totally changed his veiws to appeal to the masses. I too sat outside and watched all of the neices and nephews while the rest of the family was in at my sister in laws temple marraige, including my husband. He was worthy(to be shot)It is pure evil and ugly and hurtful. Satan is full of glee everytime another one bites the dust of mormonism. My ex in-laws dont speak to me anymore because I am not WORTHY.

    Like

  31. queen o' hearts says:

    It would be interesting to hear Lynn’s impressions after the temple ceremony…did we ever hear from her again?

    Like

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