Psychos of the World Unite–Just Not at Dance

In my other life, as a suburban dance mom and worker bee for Dance Teacher, I often encounter the nastiest of the nasties–Psycho Dance Moms. To my understanding, Pyscho Dance Moms are like Psycho Soccer Moms, and Psycho Baseball Dads, etc., etc.

I just happen to encounter them in the dance world.

Tonight was the dress rehearsal for our Night to Remember, and I’m telling you what, I encountered a DOOZY of a Psycho. It’s taken me FOUR Frodkas (Fresca+Vodka) just to be able to say my name again. Only now I’m pronouncing it Natatalieeeee.

It seems like the pyscho-est Psycho Dance Moms are those with spectacularly untalented daughters. Not that Dancing Daughter is Ginger Rogers, but she does not have to dance with a paper bag over her head to save embarrassment to the family. In fact, this Psycho Mom’s daughter is in the Paper-Bag-Over-Head class, although we aren’t listing them that way on the roster.

PM was having a melt-down, finger-in-face rant at one of the young teachers, when I stepped in to intervene. “And WHO are you? WHO ARE YOU?” she screamed at me. She was pretty bent because the teacher of the class did not hand out the notes about the review practice. But of course they were not blaming the TEACHER (who was recently let go for just this sort of thing). No, they were blaming the owner of the studio. “You do NOT want to make me explode,” pyscho screamed at me after I told her to calm down.

“What, it gets WORSE than this?” was my reply. She didn’t much like that.

When she FINALLY calmed down, I explained to her the many ways she could get needed information, such as our TEAM WEB SITE, or email notifications, etc., but she said that after the review SHE WAS DONE.

“I think that would probably be BEST,” was my reply.

I took her money for the review, and then she started up AGAIN when Dance Teacher came in.

Weird thing was, I never really figured out what she wanted, because she GOT an apology. That wasn’t enough. She just kept going.

The ONLY thing that would have made her happy was to be able to scream and yell and be allowed to do it for as long as she desired.

No wonder I am writing an entire series about these psychos…..

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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11 Responses to Psychos of the World Unite–Just Not at Dance

  1. Cele says:

    I truly believe it is all about the rant. It is all about not having a voice anywhere else in life and taking it out on an easy target. Truly sad…but good fodder.

    Like

  2. desi says:

    was she a yankee? you know from up north?
    Every rant like that, that I have ever heard (I work in a Dr.’s office, so there’s lots)
    have been from someone who lives where it’s VERY cold.
    No insult intended, merely an observation.

    Like

  3. Wendy says:

    Aren’t you writing a book about dance moms? How’s that coming? Can’t wait to read it.

    Like

  4. Natalie says:

    Hey Wendy,

    Yes, TUTU DEADLY is finished and will be published in April of 2007! I LOVE writing this series!!

    Like

  5. Matt says:

    I like nutbags like that. …you know, the kind that like to TRY and intimidate you.

    They are fun. ….having been in the military and been screamed at like that on a couple of occasions also helps. It gets real easy to laugh or play head games with them once you realize that they can’t get you confined, take your pay, or reduce your rate.

    ….good luck with the psycho, lunatic, gee aren’t I really terrifying when I yell at you like this moms.

    …oh, and have a vodka for me. 😉

    Like

  6. Sean says:

    I love your blog! I am an ex-mormon who used to live in Utah. Luckily I got of Utah 7 years ago. I have never looked back. I have talked to people about Utah and it seems so farfetched to them. I guess people can’t really understand what it’s like unless they’ve lived it. I certainly have. Again, I really love your blog and I’m glad that there’s people like you out there who are telling it like it really is.

    Like

  7. Ummm… psycho Moms… are those the ones that are embarrassed about their lives and want to live through their kids?

    Have a frodka on me. They don’t let me drink any more.. Medication! I miss the taste of good wine and German beer.

    Like

  8. Howy says:

    Thathz juth dethhpichuble!!!

    Geezo Peezo, what’s the big whoop?

    Brother Howy

    Like

  9. Karin says:

    I think when they pass out the tu-tus they shoud pass out Xanex for the Psycho moms. The Xanes should be mandatory.

    Like

  10. RJ says:

    That woman is truly blinded by her religious beliefs, but when do, we as “non-Mormons” become the same way? When do we cross the line and become the persecutors to them, the “Mormons”?

    Whenever I think or talk about the betrayal I feel by Mormon beliefs, the bile that collects at the back of my throat becomes a poison to me and everything around me, killing the little bit of life I have left to live.

    Like

  11. Brother Samuel says:

    I’m a mormon, and me and my 16 wives do not appreciate your bull haggle about mormons and the likes of daffy duck. Please take a holy cross from the church of New Zealand, then take a Buddha from a Buddhist. then get Quran from your mama, then a snake from your bootys, you can have a shit all over em and eat em like that really good video.

    Like

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