Mormon Super Dell–A Carrot Short of a Jello Salad

In Utah, we’ve had to tolerate a lot of strange people, most operating under the illusion they are members of God’s Elite Army. Not all Mormons are this way, of course, but I believe I’ve mentioned before that in SOME minds, Mormonism is just downright dangerous. Take the Lafferty Brothers, for instance, the two polygamist fundamentalists who butchered their sister-in-law and her baby daughter–their niece. And there’s Brian David Mitchell, who decided that Elizabeth Smart was going to be his next wife. And then there’s Super Dell Schanze.

Schanze is the owner–at least for this minute–of the now defunct Totally Awesome Computers, and he has been bombarding Utahns with his Totally Obnoxious commercials for years now. He’s somewhat of a nerd, but when someone gave him money (namely, Utahns buying his “totally awesome” computers) he turned into a pyschopath.

He bought a few guns, and some really fancy cars, and started acting like God was talking to him on a daily basis, and that he was really cool–despite the fact he was nothing more than a closet nerd–and that everyone really LIKED his commercials.

Of course, as is the case when people come down with that particular type of superiority complex, he started messing up. He had more than a few brushes with the law, including one where he threatened some concerned homeowners with a pretty big gun. And then he was pretty pissed off when his BRANDISHING of the gun resulted in HIM getting into trouble with the law.

Frankly, if someone drives through MY neighborhood doing 80 mph, I don’t care if he’s Gordon B. Hinckley, he’s gonna hear about it.

But Super-Nerd thinks he’s above all that.

And when the media reported about his doings, guess what he did then?

When asked for another interview, Schanze was apprehensive, but blithe. “All newspeople are scumbag rat bastards,” he said.

As usually happens when people are insane, things come apart, and the center cannot hold, and frankly, things are unraveling fast for Super-Nerd.

His stores are closed down. And an extremely offensive rant on gays, that he allegedly cut while making a commercial, is now making the media rounds. You can hear the rant at the Salt Lake City Weekly site.

Super Dell is getting his comeuppance.

I leave you with this quote from Super Dell from the SLC Weekly story. When asked about a gender discrimination claim filed against his company by an ex-employee, he said:

“Once again, she’s a total freaking liar,” said Schanze. “She defrauded the unemployment office, stole thousands of dollars from us, was a complete liar. … And not to mention, she’s got to be the freaking ugliest chick you could possibly imagine,” Schanze said, confusing the gender discrimination claim with one of sexual harassment. “Oh my hideousness.”


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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8 Responses to Mormon Super Dell–A Carrot Short of a Jello Salad

  1. Cele says:

    I’ve been called sexist many times before, so you won’t be surprised when I take that road.. It’s been my experience that the majority of GUILTY guys will boil their reasons to their not be guilty down to the woman’s looks and weight when they’ve been rebuffed. So I am not surprised at his comments. Nice guys don’t do that, unfortunately not all guys are nice. And yes I do know not all women are ladies.


  2. Howy says:

    Oh, who cares?! So he’s a nut – big whoop! You wanna hear about something important? Good. Today I walked out in my yard in sunny Southern California to a blanket of hail. It was three inches deep in my lounge chair. Making a snowball in your backyard in So Cal is unnatural. That’s scary! That’s something to worry about. Of course, we could turn it and blame the Mormons for their maxi-vans. If they practiced control, or planned parenthood, then they wouldn’t need a Greyhound to haul their brood around. Maybe I wouldn’t have HAIL in my backyard if the planet wasn’t being gassed by Brother and Sister Hormones!!!



  3. Suyo says:

    ha ha ha…..oh my gawdfreeze……all too funny…..I mean TOTALLY AWESOME


  4. Suyo says:

    Natalie… again…..hey thanks loads sistah… everytime i get on the computer NERD BOY DELL’S face appears in my pea brain. Hey on another subject how about the fact that the rest of world is concerned (or should be) about A WAR the SHRUB…….in Utahahahahaha……they are wondering about the right place to put a new Deseret Industries….yes folks Utah is really some place….the almost square state…..why do you suppose they forgot to fill in the right corner?


  5. My God, I had forgotten about Super Dell. Of course, I haven’t been back to Utah in about 6 years, and I try not to think about it.

    There’s something in Mormon culture that invests financially successful people with some sort of righteous authority. The CEO of the first company I worked for was like that: everything he did was correct (he even went to the temple with business decisions), and his employees were to shut up and do his bidding (he dressed as a king every year for Halloween). Why? Because he was wealthy and drove the right car and wore the right clothes.

    He’s now a General Authority for the LDS church.


  6. HappyBack says:

    First off, Joseph’s Left One, it was HIS BUSINESS, so if he wanted to take his business decisions to the Temple, or discuss it wiht his “masseuse”, that’s up to him. And as for his employees shutting up and doing his bidding? You always had one option he couldn;t stop you from excercising: QUITTING, and finding another job.

    Good Lord, blaming a douchebag boss on Mormonism is petty sour grapes at its worst, isn’t it?

    Ok, on to SuperDouche. First off, IS this guy Mormon? Secondly, if he is, where does that fit into his douchebag behavior? I grew up in Massachusetts, when Barney Frank was running a gay brothel out of his apartment, and Ted Kennedy was driving his mistresses into the drink- we never blamed their behavior on Catholicism. Hmmm, in retrospect, maybe we should have tried that angle. They WERE, after all, the locally dominant religion….

    Super-Dell? The guy’s a retard. Let’s cut the mentally impaired a little slack, shall we?

    This website’s a joke. You ought to rename it That’s about all you do. How ridiculous.


  7. Anonymous says:

    Why is it you think that ones religion has EVERYTHING to do with how they act? Does a persons upbringing have no say? and if that’s the case, then what religion do you belong to that says mormons are bad? Because no matter what religion you look at, they’re all going to have a few crazies in them. and if you’re so sick of the mormons, move out of Utah.


  8. Anonymous says:

    pretty much all i’m saying is that I agree with HappyBack.


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