The Bitch is Back in Town

My recent rant on the Frey Fray caught some attention, including in a forum of Here’s a shout out to Mya, who called my attention to it, and actually is the one who wrote about my blog in the forum. I liked her comments, and hope she will regularly visit Trapped.

But, of course, something ELSE caught my eye when I visited the forum. Of the few comments I read (okay, okay, the few comments THERE) about my post, I found this one really interesting.

Author: Shangri la (—
Date: 02-01-06 23:37
Natalie Collins maybe honest in this respect, but she’s a bitch of a different kind.

Finding random snarky comments about me, especially those sufficiently random and vague and confusing enough to make one ask, “WTF?” always make me wonder about the writer’s motivation–and also how much CRACK they were smoking that day. Because, PLEASE, a bitch of a different kind? As opposed to WHAT kind? A kind bitch? A normal kind of bitch? Are there classifications for bitches? See what I mean? It screams “CRACK ADDICTION.” Lord, it’s just so confusing.

So, I showed my friend Karin, who immediately made a connection that some of the rest of you might have made. The Mormon connection. Karin, by the way, knows a few Mormons, but is not Mormon, has never been Mormon, and WILL NEVER BE Mormon (Just say NO, Karin! Do not open the door to those nice young men in white shirts! Look away from the WHITE SHIRTS!). When I showed her the comment on, without making my OWN comment or giving any editorial of any sort, her response was, “It’s a Mormon.”

See? And I did NOT encourage this. I DID NOT. I did not say one thing about any suspicions I might have. I’m not entirely sure I had suspicions. No Mormon has ever called me “a bitch of a different kind.” I think. Okay, at least not while I was sober enough to comprehend it.

Annnywayyy, all I said was, “What do you think of this?”

And she said, “Mormon.”

So there you have it. If Shangri La IS Mormon, you are not doing yourself any favors. And for God’s sake, PLEASE… why are you hanging out in a writer’s forum? Especially if you don’t know that MAYBE and MAY BE are not even REMOTELY related.

You probably think “alot” is one word, too. WELL it ain’t! You don’t have alittle, so you can’t have alot! So there!


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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15 Responses to The Bitch is Back in Town

  1. Karin says:

    Hmm, *bitch of a different kind.*
    Now that I have had time to mull it over, say it a few times out loud, I must admit, I like it, Nat. It has a certain je ne sais quoi. *Bitch of a different kind.* Powerful.


  2. Howy says:

    Alot ain’t a word?! Crap.


  3. Cele says:

    Now I have to admit, I know alot isn’t a word, but that’s how I write it hmmm 95 percent of the time.

    You’re a bitch? Yikes I’ve known you for six or seven years now and had never divined that portion of your make up. Of course I don’t tend to call people that. But I will channel my mother here… “She’s just jealous Natalie, you made it and and are published. She’s not and not.”


  4. Del says:

    The word “maybe” used in the context of the illustrious author Shangri La above should be “may be”.
    By the by, I finished “Wives and Sisters” and have two words to say about it. Flippin Fantastic!!!!!!!!!!


  5. Natalie says:

    Hey, thanks, Del! So glad you enjoyed it.

    Signed—The Bitch


  6. Kris says:

    I’ve always known I was a bitch (maybe that’s why many Mormons tend to leave me to my own devices)…but I do like the phrase “bitch of a dfferent kind”…I may have to start a club or something! *wink*. Perhaps someone should copyright “BODK” before Shangri la picks up on it and makes a b-zillion…I see T-shirts, bumper stickers, hats, and beanie babies (where did that last one come from?). You get the drift.



  7. Natalie says:

    You are NOT stealing my BODK status, Kris! Oh no! I will not allow it. Perhaps, though, I will allow you and Jen and Karin and Cele and and anyone else who wants to play, to join in…..


  8. Suyo says:

    Bitch???? I don’t even know you but you AIN’T no bitch. You are freakin funny. Kind of like that gal from Hallmark cards…..MAXINE. She is my idol! You just say it like it is living behind the Zion curtain aka HELL. As if we don’t all have enough to worry about….you know getting older, Curious GWB the stupid monkey, global warming, bunions, MENopause…blah blah blah……we have to deal with MORMONS daily!!!! Sorry but what other state does anyone know of that is completely run by a cult. A kazillion dollar empire that makes choices for all of us cause we don’t have the brains to CTR. Hey Natalie… funny is it to see your neighbors try to explain why they are caught in the grocery store on Sunday? Big differance between being a REAL bitch and a funny bitch.


  9. Kita Kazoo says:

    Hey… If pointing out the truth of things makes one a bitch, then so be it. Better to be a BODK and have a life, than to be a stepford zombie.


  10. Kris says:

    Now please remember that I am currently LDS…and I am NOT no Stepford Zombie. hehe.



  11. Caryn says:

    My first thought when I read this was that she’s Mormon. Or jealous. Either way, she’s an idiot, because a) she probably felt she had a legitimate point, but the way she phrased it meant the reader discounted all she had to say and her point was rendered, well, pointless and b) assuming, from the title of the board, she’s an aspiring author, well, much of getting published is about the networking, so it’s not a smart idea to go on a widely read public forum and begin dissing published, successful authors. She never knows when said published author’s editor, agent, or pubbed friends might read her vitriolic comments and file them away for the future–let alone when the author herself might read the comments and then hold them up for ridicule on her own forum.


  12. Howy says:

    I’ve been thinking “alot” about those Muslims and how pissed they are over a few tasteless caricatures. Can’t they take a joke for Christ’s sake?! No doubt I’m going to Hell now. Lots of BODKs there.


  13. I agree with Cele’s mom. 🙂 And Karin. But I always agree with Karin.


  14. Natalie says:

    Hey, hey, HEY, there Mr. Howy! There’ll be none of that on this here blog! I have enough trouble with angry Mormons. I do not need angry Muslims here! As a whole, they take anger to a whole new level….


  15. Howy says:

    Did I say Muslims? Oh no, I meant Momo’s. These icons confuse me . . . Moroni . . . Muhammad . . . Smith . . . Satan . . .


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