That Tom and Holly…. he he he. See, it’s that time of year again. The time of year when I just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head and not come out until the Utah legislative session is over.
It happens pretty much every year. Stick-up-the-ass disease is rampant in Utah, mostly because the majority of the population only has one half of their brain functioning. The ass-stick side. That stick pretty much goes all the way through and alters normal brain function. At least that’s my theory.
I’m guessing, though I don’t know for sure, that Tom and Holly were thinking that some libations might help loosen up the stick and maybe even circulate some brain cells and get some real thinking going on. The stick might even fall out. The majority of normal brain function might return. Either that, or they knew that beer bottles, especially beer bottles with labels that read “Evolution Amber Ale,” in honor of an evolution bill, would get people pretty stirred up.
A girl can dream.
Of course, for reasons you might only understand if you live in Utah, they sent the beer bottles EMPTY. EMPTY. Still, even empty, the beer bottles did not amuse the Republicans too much. They were signed, “Bottoms up! Love the Tom Barberi Show. I hear some Democrats were annoyed, too, mostly because the bottles were empty.
Particularly annoyed, at least from what my secret source tells me (Okay, it was Holly), was Sen. Chris Buttars. Remember him? He wants to ban gay clubs in Utah. He is also the sponsor of the Evolution bill. I think that this bill could rightly be called, THE BIGGEST STICK-UP-THE-ASS-BILL-EVER.
Or maybe he’s just the biggest ASS-STICK guy ever.
So, kudos to Tom and Holly for irritating Sen. Chris Buttars. We’re irritated right back, Buttars! Hey, did you notice the first FOUR letters of his name spell BUTT? Get it? Ass-stick? Butt? I just noticed that? Okay, I’ll go to bed now….