Fun with Tom and Holly

That Tom and Holly…. he he he. See, it’s that time of year again. The time of year when I just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head and not come out until the Utah legislative session is over.

It happens pretty much every year. Stick-up-the-ass disease is rampant in Utah, mostly because the majority of the population only has one half of their brain functioning. The ass-stick side. That stick pretty much goes all the way through and alters normal brain function. At least that’s my theory.

I’m guessing, though I don’t know for sure, that Tom and Holly were thinking that some libations might help loosen up the stick and maybe even circulate some brain cells and get some real thinking going on. The stick might even fall out. The majority of normal brain function might return. Either that, or they knew that beer bottles, especially beer bottles with labels that read “Evolution Amber Ale,” in honor of an evolution bill, would get people pretty stirred up.

A girl can dream.

Of course, for reasons you might only understand if you live in Utah, they sent the beer bottles EMPTY. EMPTY. Still, even empty, the beer bottles did not amuse the Republicans too much. They were signed, “Bottoms up! Love the Tom Barberi Show. I hear some Democrats were annoyed, too, mostly because the bottles were empty.

Particularly annoyed, at least from what my secret source tells me (Okay, it was Holly), was Sen. Chris Buttars. Remember him? He wants to ban gay clubs in Utah. He is also the sponsor of the Evolution bill. I think that this bill could rightly be called, THE BIGGEST STICK-UP-THE-ASS-BILL-EVER.

Or maybe he’s just the biggest ASS-STICK guy ever.

So, kudos to Tom and Holly for irritating Sen. Chris Buttars. We’re irritated right back, Buttars! Hey, did you notice the first FOUR letters of his name spell BUTT? Get it? Ass-stick? Butt? I just noticed that? Okay, I’ll go to bed now….


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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3 Responses to Fun with Tom and Holly

  1. Cele says:

    I’ve no idea why, but Buttars translate (imom) Buttered Butts Go figure.

    Well that was considerate of them to send empty bottles. You know you just can’t ever please all the politicians any of the time


  2. Suyo says:

    Hey face it…..the Democratic politicians in Utah have to be the strongest folks in this U.S. of A. Can you just imagine sitting up on capital hill hour after hour listening to those sheep called Republicans. Baaaaaaaaaa Welcome to the fold BRO. Put yur shoulder to the wheel push along, do yur duty with a heart full of song, we all have work let no one shirk, put yur shoulder to the wheel……..HA HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA..
    Can you imagine these movie goers that come to town for Sundance and get a glimpse of the UTAH NEWS AND VIEWS… must be like being on the Planet of OZ…..I mean ODDS.


  3. Kita Kazoo says:

    I wonder if the have the same opening prayer – opps – “opening comments” that they have at the Pleasant Grove city council meetings? “Heavenly Father blah-blah-blah…” I’m going to have to poke my nose in and see…


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