Apparently, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (The Mormons, to you and me) has petitioned HBO to put a disclaimer at the beginning of a new show about polygamy that will run on the cable channel. It is, appropriately, called Big Love, and it deals with a man who tries to spread his love around to his three wives. Or something like that.
Anyway, the Mormons want HBO to tell the world that they don’t practice polygamy, and that this has NOTHING to do with the modern-day Mormon Church.
A couple of things come to mind here.
1) If the modern-day Mormon Church has nothing to do with polygamy, why would they petition HBO to put a disclaimer in front of this show telling the world they have nothing to do with polygamy? If they truly HAVE nothing to do with polygamy, a disclaimer is totally unnecessary, right?
2) Polygamy is still a tenet of the Mormon Church, and it is taught that it will be practiced in the Celestial Kingdom. Not only that, but according to Joseph Smith, and in Section 132 of the Doctrine and Covenants, God proclaims: For behold, I reveal unto you a new and an everlasting covenant; and if ye abide not that covenant, then are ye damned; for no one can reject this covenant and be permitted to enter into my glory.
Hmmm. New and everlasting. Everlasting pretty much says it AIN’T going away, right? So how do they explain THAT one? Easy. They called the edict outlawing it a “manifesto.”
This is my favorite part of the D&C verse, though.
61 And again, as pertaining to the law of the priesthood—if any man espouse a virgin, and desire to espouse another, and the first give her consent, and if he espouse the second, and they are virgins, and have vowed to no other man, then is he justified; he cannot commit adultery for they are given unto him; for he cannot commit adultery with that that belongeth unto him and to no one else.
62 And if he have ten virgins given unto him by this law, he cannot commit adultery, for they belong to him, and they are given unto him; therefore is he justified.
63 But if one or either of the ten virgins, after she is espoused, shall be with another man, she has committed adultery, and shall be destroyed; for they are given unto him to multiply and replenish the earth, according to my commandment, and to fulfil the promise which was given by my Father before the foundation of the world, and for their exaltation in the eternal worlds, that they may bear the souls of men; for herein is the work of my Father continued, that he may be glorified.
See that? God just gave Joe permission to have as many virgins as he wanted, and gave those SAME virgins a warning. YOU belong to him, but HE doesn’t belong to you.
Okay, I lied. That wasn’t my FAVORITE part of this particular scripture. The part where God tells Emma Smith, Joe’s wife, that she better listen up and do his will, or she would be destroyed, is my favorite.
51 Verily, I say unto you: A commandment I give unto mine handmaid, Emma Smith, your wife, whom I have given unto you, that she stay herself and partake not of that which I commanded you to offer unto her; for I did it, saith the Lord, to prove you all, as I did Abraham, and that I might require an offering at your hand, by covenant and sacrifice.
52 And let mine handmaid, Emma Smith, receive all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph, and who are virtuous and pure before me; and those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God.
53 For I am the Lord thy God and ye shall obey my voice; and I give unto my servant Joseph that he shall be made ruler over many things; for he hath been faithful over a few things, and from henceforth I will strengthen him.
54 And I command mine handmaid, Emma Smith, to abide and cleave unto my servant Joseph, and to none else. But if she will not abide this commandment she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord; for I am the Lord thy God, and will destroy her if she abide not in my law.
55 But if she will not abide this commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he hath said; and I will bless him and multiply him and give unto him an hundredfold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of eternal lives in the eternal worlds.
56 And again, verily I say, let mine handmaid forgive my servant Joseph his trespasses; and then shall she be forgiven her trespasses, wherein she has trespassed against me; and I, the Lord thy God, will bless her, and multiply her, and make her heart to rejoice.
I’m telling you, there are some real plusses to being considered a prophet. Hell, if your wife is fighting you, and disagreeing with you, just have GOD talk to her. That’ll shut her up.