Your Fifteen Minutes is UP! Get out….

I received two comments today that mostly amused me. Despite the fact these people picture me walking around with a bright red vein constantly popping in my head, screaming obscenities and kicking puppies, I’m not very angry. I think this stuff is FUNNY. Somehow, they missed that.

Keep writing. It gives me something to blog about.

First, I got this comment, from “distugusted.”

You have no right to judge those you don’t understand.

I have only this to say. You have no right to comment on blogs when you can’t spell. Come back with a dictionary.

I also got this email, from someone who really, really KNOWS THE CHURCH IS TRUE, nameofjesuschristamen. I don’t really want to make fun of her, because she was mostly nice, and I know she really believes what she is saying, but since she DID come to my blog and comment, how can I not address it?

Dear Natalie,

I do sense a lot of anger coming from you. It seems to be directed toward a church which has done so much good in the world today. Your comments seem to show your insecurity about yourself. If one finds pleasure in venting about what one has made out to be a “big bad church” it shows that the value of other things to do in life don’t seem to be giving you any sense of worth or happiness. Its a mind game of sort where you justify your insecurities by picking on the mormon church. Yes there are imperfect people in the church and lots of stuff floating around on the web about the church (most of which are unfounded and cannot be acurately referenced) but if you would read the news and do a true study, you would see the good that is being done by the church and its members. By their works ye shall know them. I hope you find really happiness in living yourlife, instead of taking the “victims” way out and complaining about something you really know nothing about. I am truly sorry for your mistakes or those done to you by members of the church, because IT IS TRUE.

Dearest Mandy,

I am not angry. Sweetie? If YOU do a true study, you aren’t going to like what you find. See, there really is NOTHING to support Joseph Smith’s claims in the Book of Mormon. Nothing. Nada. Zip. No evidence at all it EVER EVEN HAPPENED. Don’t you find that just a teensy odd? In fact, DNA evidence shows that it’s pretty much all just a made up fairy tale. I live in the real world. You ought to try it.

I am no victim. I am NOT taking the victim’s way out. And I don’t have an axe to grind. I just think it’s stupid. As long as people keep telling me it’s true, you’re going to get my opinion back. Doesn’t mean I’m insecure. Does mean I have my beliefs, just like you. Oh, and JUST LIKE YOU, I think I have the right to say what my beliefs are. Funny how that works. As for insecurities, backatcha sweetheart. You are so insecure about what you believe, you ended up at my blog, and felt the need to use derision to bring me back over to the DARK SIDE. LUKE, I’m YOUR FATHER. No, no, no, use the force….

Um. Sorry. ANYWAY, I don’t have the proverbial axe to grind, but I do have a blog to write, and because of people like you, I can’t write about anything BUT Mormons.

I would love to tell you some other stories, say, the one where my friend and I were sitting together with a group of Godly people, and the speaker was telling the story of a student she had worked with who had Tourette’s syndrome. People with this disease sometimes shout out profanities, because they cannot control it. Well, the speaker claimed that this boy had been raised right, in a home with no profanity, so he never did this, and I leaned over to my friend and said, “Damn good thing my kids don’t have Tourette’s,” and she said, “Fucking right.”

See? That’s kind of a funny story. And it really happened.

But no, I can’t tell it, because people like YOU keep writing me and telling me I’m angry, and I just have to tell the world what I keep hearing from the Mormons. Is it possible I’ve become the Mormon equivalent of Andy Warhol’s FIFTEEN MINUTES OF FAME? Are you people writing me so that I will feature you in my blog?

Well, I suppose as long as I serve a purpose in this world….


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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