Mock, Mock, Mocking on Heaven's Door…

Most of the Mormons who email me comment on how saddened they are by my mocking tone.

“I’m saddened by your angry, mocking criticisms of Mormons,” said Marman bishopric guy.

Another emailer, commenting on the Martha Nibley Beck controversy (you know, she wrote a book and they don’t like it), actually called me Ma’am. Who the fuck you calling Ma’am? Ahem. Sorry for the swearing, but I have a reputation to uphold. I must appear angry, mocking, and very, very sad. With a lot of hate in my heart. Lots of it.

Got sidetracked. Annnnnywayyyy, the writer who made the called me “Ma’am” wrote quite a bit about Martha (just in case you are wondering, he’s siding with Martha’s family on the whole abuse issue), then ended with a small diatribe directed at me.

Sadly, I guess what concerns me most about this article is not Martha Beck, but it is the writer of this article. Ma’am, you seem in distress and angry towards your parents and seem, as so many people in the world do, to be in the state of blaming your present and future on your past, unable to change from the path you are pursuing. I want to tell you that you can change. You can let go of the bad in your life, which in this case, it doesn’t even matter if it is real or not as “perception is reality” and no I’m not saying you weren’t abused, you may have been. What I am saying is that you can let go of those bad things, not forgetting them, but not letting them run your life. You have the right to choose for yourself who you want to be, now more than ever before, and perhaps more than ever again. So please don’t choose to be some bitter person lashing out online. Choose love. Choose Charity. Choose Life.

Huh? Oh for hell’s sake, we have already been through this, haven’t we? This Mormon hate mail is getting tedious. Thanks for the advice, oh Guru of Goodness, but unlike Martha Nibley Beck, I have no contact with Oprah and your sage advice is not going to get you on her show.

You only think I’m bitter because you don’t agree with my position. If, say, I was writing a recipe blog for Mormon women who cannot figure out what to cook tonight, and or writing “faith-promoting” young adult romance novels, you would be writing me fan mail!

Instead, because I point out that I don’t really like Mormonism, don’t believe in it, find patriarchy harmful, and think some of the things that SOME of the Mormons do are stupid, suddenly I’m bitter and lashing out?

LISTEN UP, Bucko. I hate having to repeat myself, but I shall do so until “you people” hear me. (Oh, that felt so good, to call someone else YOU PEOPLE.) If you can’t take the heat, stay out of the kitchen. As long as Mormons purport to hold the only true religion, and seek to tell everyone else about it, then Mormons MUST expect to have those who don’t agree say so. It’s our right.

If you don’t want to be written about on blogs, stop trying to convert the world to your religion, which you believe to be the only true religion. The real seekers will find you. Just shut up about it, okay? If you stop talking, everyone else will stop talking. You don’t see people “lashing out” online about the Amish people, do you?

In fact, I think that whole “no technology” stance would be a good one for Mormons to take. It would make it MUCH easier for you to believe that everyone admires your strong Mormon values. And you wouldn’t be so “saddened” and “distressed” about my mocking tone.

I think I’ll suggest that in the next GA board meeting….. Now please excuse me, as I must go to the bathroom and slit my wrists, but not before drinking poison-laced alcohol. This whole bitter, sad, lashing out persona is awfully hard to uphold.


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
This entry was posted in Natalie's Posts. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Mock, Mock, Mocking on Heaven's Door…

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oh, don’t let the whole “saddened and distressed” thing bother you. It’s just the whole Mormon “they are persecuting us so they are the devil” thing. Don’t ya just love how they have to use official Mormonspeak to chastise you.

    Um, don’t Amish people lash out online? You would think they would, because that religion seems like a real winner. Is it because they never learned to use a computer? 😉


  2. Anonymous says:

    I just came to this website because I was looking up Martha Beck. I’ll look up your book at the library.
    In the meantime, let me explain some things about Martha Beck to people who might not know about her. I’ve read all her books so this is what I know about the situation in hand:
    1. Dr. Beck is not an angry 40 year old. Far from it. From her writing she gives great advice, is a sensitive life coach, and seems secure in her life.
    2. The incidents that Dr. Beck writes about happened seventeen years ago. Her family moved back to Utah after she gave birth to a child with Down’s Syndrome.
    3. Dr. Beck has a thriving career as a coach, a columnist, leading seminars, and has had three best selling books.
    4. Dr. Beck has said in interviews that she and her ex has a loving friendship-even after their divorce.

    I say, read her book, then judge her. Simply on the basis of her previous work, that’s what I’m going to do.

    yours truly,
    Jennifer Gibbons


  3. Anonymous says:

    Forgive me, Ms. Collins, I didn’t mean you personally, but the people that made comments in your blog.


  4. mwitten says:

    In the immortal words of Eeyore “Thanks for noticing”. What’s interesting is I’ve just found that my original message to you actually mirrors Martha Beck’s own statements as published on her site, at least to an extent. Now I do apologize for butting in, as I was under the mistake I was not on a private ‘blog, but some place I had the right to express myself. I guess it just struck a nerve with me that some woman could compare an experience of her parents spanking her with another woman claiming her father raped her when she was five. By the way, if Hugh Nibley did such a thing, he will burn in Hell. I still don’t believe he did, based on the other children, but am thankfully, not given that responsibility of judgement. Anyway, I shall bother you no more, but I did again wish to apologize for coming on so strongly not knowing where or towhom I was speaking. That was my mistake.


  5. Raindancer says:


    before you decide that Ms. Beck was not likely abused based on her siblings reports that they were not abused, please read “A Child Called It” by Dave Pelzer.

    Might change your mind. Or at least open it to the possiblity that she is not lying.


  6. Personally, I believe A Child Called It is an exaggeration. Read some interviews with Dave Pelzer and you’ll see why.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s