Ya know…. it’s really annoying to have one’s parental authority usurped. This is commonplace in Mormonism, although I never realized it until I became a parent.
I never realized that my parents weren’t the ones calling the shots. They didn’t either. My dad, in all his priesthood fury and anger, might have thought he was the one in charge, but he was sadly mistaken. I think, if he realized how much authority he lost, and never had, he would be angry, because he put great stock in his ability to lead our family. He had the priesthood. He HAS the priesthood. He throws that around all the time, thinking it really means something, when it is nothing more than voodoo, misinformation, and misguided intention. Oh, and a strange addiction to anointing people with olive oil.
But the truth is, Mormonism is a religion that is led by those in authority, which, in our family’s case, meant anybody but my mom and dad. As a school teacher, my dad has never held a ward calling higher than that of ward clerk. Never mind teachers are the leaders of our next generation. They don’t make a lot of money. And if you AREN’T a successful businessman, you probably aren’t going much higher, in the ward hierarchy, then ward clerk.
Oops, I got sidetracked. But this does relate to my topic. Parents in Mormonism are NOT in charge of their children. They always have someone higher to consult. So, since I was going to write about the primary president showing up at my door, let’s do it. I don’t know this woman. She doesn’t know me. But she showed up at my door a few days ago. It went like this.
KNOCK ON DOOR.
Primary Prez: Hi, is Cambre here?
Now, we must stop here to consider something. I have NEVER met this woman in my life. Yet, she shows up at my door, does NOT introduce herself, and immediately asks for my daughter, who is 10. You do the math. What happens next? She could be a pedophile. Worse yet, she could be a magazine saleswoman, and left alone with a magazine saleswoman, my daughter could bankrupt me.
Me: Who are you?
PP: I am the Primary President. I just stopped by to invite…
Me: Whoa, wait a minute. First of all, what is your name?
PP: [tells me her name]
Me: Why are you here, asking for my daughter?
PP: I am here to invite Cambre to…
Me: Okay, stop right there. What makes you think you can come to my door with an invitation to Cambre to come to Primary, or whatever it is you have, and NOT tell me who you are or what you want? Isn’t that a bit presumptuous?
PP: Well, I didn’t mean it that way. I just didn’t want her to feel left out.
Me: Left out of what?
PP: Left out of…. Well, hey, I made a mistake, I think. I’m sorry.
Me: Look, I am not trying to be rude, but have you even THOUGHT once about what you are doing? How would you feel if I showed up at your house and invited your daughter to MY church? All the while smiling nicely at the mother? What would you do?
PP: Well. Hmppph.I’ll tell the bishop you want no contact.
That’ll last about ten minutes…..They’ll be BAAAACKKKKKKKKK. (To those of you who wrote me hate mail, claiming that I can’t possibly be BACK on the records under two names, will have to explain to CAMBRE how she keeps getting invited to these things. Well, explain later. She’s in bed right now. Leave her alone…. Don’t come knocking….)