Me and the Primary Prez

Ya know…. it’s really annoying to have one’s parental authority usurped. This is commonplace in Mormonism, although I never realized it until I became a parent.

I never realized that my parents weren’t the ones calling the shots. They didn’t either. My dad, in all his priesthood fury and anger, might have thought he was the one in charge, but he was sadly mistaken. I think, if he realized how much authority he lost, and never had, he would be angry, because he put great stock in his ability to lead our family. He had the priesthood. He HAS the priesthood. He throws that around all the time, thinking it really means something, when it is nothing more than voodoo, misinformation, and misguided intention. Oh, and a strange addiction to anointing people with olive oil.

But the truth is, Mormonism is a religion that is led by those in authority, which, in our family’s case, meant anybody but my mom and dad. As a school teacher, my dad has never held a ward calling higher than that of ward clerk. Never mind teachers are the leaders of our next generation. They don’t make a lot of money. And if you AREN’T a successful businessman, you probably aren’t going much higher, in the ward hierarchy, then ward clerk.

Oops, I got sidetracked. But this does relate to my topic. Parents in Mormonism are NOT in charge of their children. They always have someone higher to consult. So, since I was going to write about the primary president showing up at my door, let’s do it. I don’t know this woman. She doesn’t know me. But she showed up at my door a few days ago. It went like this.

KNOCK ON DOOR.

Me: Yes?
Primary Prez: Hi, is Cambre here?

Now, we must stop here to consider something. I have NEVER met this woman in my life. Yet, she shows up at my door, does NOT introduce herself, and immediately asks for my daughter, who is 10. You do the math. What happens next? She could be a pedophile. Worse yet, she could be a magazine saleswoman, and left alone with a magazine saleswoman, my daughter could bankrupt me.

Me: Who are you?
PP: I am the Primary President. I just stopped by to invite…
Me: Whoa, wait a minute. First of all, what is your name?
PP: [tells me her name]
Me: Why are you here, asking for my daughter?
PP: I am here to invite Cambre to…
Me: Okay, stop right there. What makes you think you can come to my door with an invitation to Cambre to come to Primary, or whatever it is you have, and NOT tell me who you are or what you want? Isn’t that a bit presumptuous?
PP: Well, I didn’t mean it that way. I just didn’t want her to feel left out.
Me: Left out of what?
PP: Left out of…. Well, hey, I made a mistake, I think. I’m sorry.
Me: Look, I am not trying to be rude, but have you even THOUGHT once about what you are doing? How would you feel if I showed up at your house and invited your daughter to MY church? All the while smiling nicely at the mother? What would you do?
PP: Well. Hmppph.I’ll tell the bishop you want no contact.
Me: Good.

That’ll last about ten minutes…..They’ll be BAAAACKKKKKKKKK. (To those of you who wrote me hate mail, claiming that I can’t possibly be BACK on the records under two names, will have to explain to CAMBRE how she keeps getting invited to these things. Well, explain later. She’s in bed right now. Leave her alone…. Don’t come knocking….)

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About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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11 Responses to Me and the Primary Prez

  1. Anonymous says:

    Oooooh, I’m so glad I never visited the inactive Primary children when I was a Molly. I was encouraged and exhorted to, oh yes I was…but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. After all, if their slothful parents didn’t want to bring them to church, why did I think I had the right to invite them? However, now you have me worried, because I have inactive grandchildren. I’ll have to warn their parents.

    Although, I am embarassed to say that I did invite inactive teens to church. I never got yelled at, which is a mystery. Hey, I thought I was doing the right thing…but now I drink green and black tea and am practically a son of perdition. Go figure. (I love your blog, by the way. :))

    Like

  2. Anonymous says:

    Are you people for real? Do you just sit around all day and think of ways to be mean and sarcastic? I mean, who cares what religion you are, as long as you enjoy your life and are happy with where you are. Why do you get so much enjoyment picking on LDS people? Why not Jews, Catholics, Presbyterians, etc? Or, maybe I should just do my research, because maybe you do. Why can’t people just be respected for what they believe and leave it at that? You don’t have to believe it if you don’t want to, but that doesn’t mean you need to lash out, berate, make fun of, or twist everything that is every said or published. If that is the only enjoyment you receive in life then I am sorry for you. I’m sure your parents, whom you have already made fun of for serving a mission, are proud! And if you have issues with your parents, which many of us do, me included, why is that the fault of the church? He’s a big man, he made his own decisions. If you have a beef with him, by all means let him know, but quit being so damn mean about everyone and everything inbetween.

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  3. Anonymous says:

    FYI-It is not hard to take your name off the records. Many children choose to have religious direction in their lifes even when their parents do not. It seems as if you are proud of making a fool of yourself on line and to the “primary prez”. It is unfortunate that this situation of kindness and love for your child got your panties in such a knot. I hope you felt big and cool yelling at someone that only had kindness in their heart. Grow up!

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  4. Laura says:

    GROW UP Cambre’s Mom, noone cares that you are such a great mom that you stood up to someone who didn’t respect your boundaries while trying to be kind.
    I have a feeling you are quick to hate other people who are not like-minded as well. That’s too bad for you.

    Like

  5. Pingback: Trapped by the Mormons » Blog Archive » There are smart Mormons, and there are MORMONS LIKE THIS

  6. Connie Myers says:

    We moved to Switzerland for the beauty, the travel opportunities, and for the great job offer. We chose a home in a little village not far from Zurich and enrolled our children in an English-language international school.

    The Swiss people are proud of their heritage. The Zurich region is German-speaking – well, sort of. The language of the area is Swiss German, a variety of German far removed from what is spoken in Austria or Germany. But the people of the region are proud of their language and their heritage. And that’s fine with me, as long as they’ll leave me alone.

    We’re an English-speaking family. We notified the local gemeinde (government office) that we’d enrolled our kids in the English-language school, and asked them to take our names off the school rolls. We thought that would be the end of it.

    One day our doorbell rang. The woman at the door asked for my daughter, speaking English with an obvious Swiss accent. My daughter was four years old and not accustomed to adult visitors.

    Me: Who are you?
    Her: I am with the school district.
    Me: Whoa, wait a minute. First of all, what is your name?
    Her: [tells me her name]
    Me: Why are you here, asking for my daughter?
    Her: I stopped by to tell Andrea about her new Kindergarten class.
    Me: Okay, stop right there. What makes you think you can come to my door with an invitation to Andrea to come to a kindergarten class, or whatever it is you have, and NOT tell me who you are or what you want? Isn’t that a bit presumptuous?
    Her: Well, I didn’t mean it that way. I just didn’t want her to feel left out.
    Me: Left out of what?
    Her: Left out of making friends with neighborhood children her own age …. Well, hey, I made a mistake, I think. I’m sorry.
    Me: Look, I am not trying to be rude, but have you even THOUGHT once about what you are doing? How would you feel if I showed up at your house and invited your daughter to a school in MY language? All the while smiling nicely at the mother? What would you do?
    Her: Well. Hmppph. I’ll tell the gemeinde you want no contact.
    Me: Good.

    That’ll last about ten minutes…..They’ll be BAAAACKKKKKKKKK.

    The nerve of these people. Just because they speak Swiss German, the majority language, what makes them think our family wants to be indoctrinated? We’re an English-speaking family and have no desire to change. We’ve told them that on the official record. Why can’t they leave us alone?

    Like

  7. Andrew says:

    For those rocket scientists accusing Mrs. Collins of attacking LDS and not other faiths, or ridiculing and making fun of them, perhaps they didn’t notice that the Primary President came to HER door….whose pushing beliefs on whom? How many Presbyterians, Catholics, and Jews would do something like that? In my 24 years and 6 different states of residency (which does include Utah), there is no other religion in this country that aggressively tries to force their beliefs on others.

    It’s amazing to look at the comments accusing ex-mos of hate, blasphemy, ridicule, self-righteousness, whatever, when the posters have absolutely no idea that they are demonstrating the exact qualities they are arguing against. It’s like “Why are you so full of hate, you mean, naughty, dirty ex-mo, and why can’t you just keep your mouth shut? I wish all you ex-mos would become TBMs or die! By the way, I love you, even though you probably won’t post this, because you’re a coward!” What?! How can you say something so hateful, then say “BTW, this message is with love”.

    Mormons have absolutely no idea that ‘persecution’ back in the 1800s was many times retaliation. They seem to erase any wrongdoing of any Mormons (Joseph Smith included) and make it look as though non-mos were not justified in their actions. Maybe they weren’t, but I have a feeling that the Mormons weren’t innocent ‘sheep’, either.

    It’s like “Let’s forget about MMM, that’s in the past.” But if it’s about handcarts “Oh, let’s have 15 reenactments, and discuss it in every conference at least once, and mention it in the Ensign every other month, and pretend like the handcart companies were the ONLY pioneers (not the only, just the stupidest) to have went West.” They have no idea of the hypocrisy required to support their belief.

    Nice parody, ‘Connie Myers.’ Very well done. 😉

    Like

  8. Kathleen Rokus says:

    Your story is very sad on all accounts. I think it would be a tragedy if only financially well off business men were able to hold important positions in the church. Maybe it seems that way where you live because there is so much prosperity. Out here all you need to be called to the position of authority is a Temple Recommend and the desire to serve. I have personally had numerous blue collar hard working bishops that I truly respect. I live in ST. Helens, Oregon and I am the Primary President in my ward. Ward dynamics differ vastly from place to place. I know that I make mistakes but I go to church to learn and I serve to become more Christ like, certainly not to impress anyone. I am not artsy or musically inclined, I do not even scrapbook. I am currently working on my bachelor degree while raising three young boys. I serve in this capacity, that I know others could do better, because I have a love for the children. I believe whole-heartedly that we are to lift each other up as members. Fellowship should be just what the word implies, friendship. If you lived in my ward I would have introduced myself to you first. I would have asked if you had a couple of minutes to spare for me to share a little bit about our fun plans for the primary activities coming up in the year. I would have left you with a card from your daughter’s primary teacher and an invitation to join us at church and the upcoming quarterly activities. We have four primary activities a year. We have two primary activities a year that are just total fun. In the summer we have a water party complete with water rockets, obstacles, a water slide and lunch. In the fall we have a pizza and game night. I hope that your next experience with the church is one of warmth and respect.
    Sincerely, Sister Rokus

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  9. Abrangawn says:

    I know I was blogging about a lot of cash advance and payday loans, but I will never be able to stop blogging about it. Whenever I see that some Web site offers other services, I would compare them with the other and, finally, a blog about their benefits. This is the actual way to evaluate any service, too.
    http://stl-short-term-loan.blogspot.com/

    Like

  10. sharon says:

    Wow! someone wanted to actually INVITE your daughter to an activity??? How DARE they! Are you this nasty to every religion? you are one scary person

    Like

  11. azteclady says:

    Dear me. The spamming bots are waking up the imbeciles.

    Like

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