BoM vs. W&S UPDATE—Every time I do this, I get kinda cranky. Because EVERY time I go in to find out what the ratings are, I see there are more customer “reviews” for the BoM, which of course are NOT reviews at all, but what the LDS faithful call “testimonies.” We’ll get back to that, though.

Here are the totals:

BoM #41,641
W&S #127,838

I am out of the bargain basement for the time being, and the BoM is headed in my direction. I’m sure it’s only temporary, at least as far as the BoM goes. Remember all those faithful followers? Remember my lack of faithful followers? Where are you people?

Now, let’s talk about those “reviews” again. They are NOT reviews. Everyone is bearing their testimonies. I know. I have heard ALL of these things time and time again in church. As I’ve mentioned before, I attended an AWFUL lot of church meetings in my youth. I know of what I speak. Every first Sunday of every month is Fast and Testimony meeting, and that is all you hear. Testimonies. Don’t let the word “fast” fool you. It is never fast. It means fast as in don’t eat, then sit through a three-hour sacrament meeting where every fool in the ward cries, and pontificates and “I-know-this-Church-is-trues” while your stomach is rumbling, and you feel faint with hunger. Just when you think escape is nigh, the most LONG-winded member of the ward (who purposely waits until the very end, in a sort of “getting the last testimony-in” way) stands up and everyone groans, some verbally and some silently. But you can hear and see it, no matter how they groan. Because unless you are a liar and a cheater, and sneaking food at home before meetings start, at this point you are starving!

I stopped attending the LDS Church when I was 18, only partly because I couldn’t stand F&T meeting. The rest had a lot to do with the theology, which I tend to quibble with. But 18 is the age when my dad couldn’t force me to attend anymore. (Do not interpret this to mean he stopped TRYING to force me to attend. That still hasn’t happened. In fact, if I outlive him I fully expect to get messages from the dead, trying to reinforce the dire need to return to church, and return NOW! If I do get these messages, perhaps THEN I will listen). Now, if you do the math (which I have no intention of doing), you will discover I attended a LOT of Fast and Testimony meetings.

I’ve heard it all before. This is nothing new.

So now I have a message for all the testimony-bearing MORMONS: listen up! I have read the BoM. It is NOT “the greatest book I’ve ever read.” In fact, it’s pretty much dull as dirt. It is NOT “poetic.” If it IS the greatest book you have ever read, you REALLY need to read more. Feel free to email me for suggestions.

I know, you all got the email where the bishop, or the stake president, or someone in a position of authority tells you to go to Amazon.com and write a five-star “review” to stop the anti people from further decrying your sacred tome. Good to know people still blindly follow without thinking. It gives the religious zealots and cult-leader wannabes hope. Everyone needs some hope. But I have news for you. It is NOT working. Everybody knows who is writing those reviews. Nobody is just perusing the Amazon Web site, happening on the BoM page and being struck by the nearly 500 reviews of testimonies from faithful Mormons, and feeling THUS inspired to buy and pray about the book. As I’ve mentioned before, you can get this book for FREE anytime.

We’re so glad your life has been changed, and this is the best book you have ever read, REVIEWS are supposed to be honest reviews. The Amazon form does NOT say post a testimony. Can’t you people read?


About Natalie R. Collins

Natalie has more than 30 years writing, editing, proofreading and design experience. She has written 20 books (and counting), has worked for the Sundance Film Festival, and as an investigative journalist, editor, and proofreader. She embraces her gypsy-heart and is following her new free-thinking journey through life. Follow her as she starts over and learns a bunch of life's lessons--some the hard way.
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