From the Mormon Hatemail Bag….

Every once in a while I get empassioned emails from teenage Mormons who are very, very upset with me, solely because I write about Mormonism in a way that is not faith promoting.

These emails do not anger me. In fact, they sadden me. Ick. Just saying that, I think of all the Mormons who have written me and told me how sad I make them, but still, it does make me sad. It’s a sad-o-rama.

Annnyway, I got this comment on my blog yesterday.

ok, I have not read your book, but by the way you are talking you hate mormons. Why? Did we hurt you? Did you fell pain that a mormon gave you? I mean if so, geton with life people make mistakes i am sure they ae sorry but if not, why do you hate me? I am mormon, do you hate me? I find that being angry and writing and posting mean things about ones religion is rude and cruel and right now I am angry but I will calm down and read out of the Book of Mormon, I will pray and I will have peace. To you, I say you might think about reading the Book of Mormon and praying and by the way, I have a testimony of this chrch, a strong one at that. And I am not even in highschool yet and I know this church is true and I know it is the true church, the only true church.

First of all, I have to cite that little ditty always thrown at me. The one where they say, “Someone offended you, so you left. Remember, it’s not about the people, it’s about the Church.” Well, they are right. “It’s NOT about the people, dear, it’s the CHURCH.”

The saddest thing about this comment is that ONE DAY this teenager will be a LOT older, and it’s entirely possible she will be thinking for herself, and she will have to look back and CRINGE at the things she said.

I can still recite the “testimony” that was given to me as a child. “I know this Church is true. I know it’s the only true Church. I know that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. I love my mom and dad. Yada yada yada. Nameofjesuschristamen.”

But the problem is, this TESTIMONY was never mine. It was handed to me by my parents, and my bishops, and my church leaders, and church teachers, but it never really belonged to me. I was not supposed to question it, or research it, or in any way validate that it was mine.

I was just TOLD that it was truth, and that was that. I was expected to accept it and spout it regularly, much like this girl did to me.

When I was fifteen, on one of the rare days when I didn’t skip Seminary class (It was held DURING school hours, in a building just off the public high school grounds. I believe kids STILL attend Seminary here in Utah, during their school day.) I asked the teacher why I couldn’t research other churches.

He told me that for someone like him, with a strong testimony, researching other churches would be fine. But with my weak testimony, it would be a very, very bad idea. I could be led astray.

And I never understand that. Surely, if it’s true, it would hold up to a little investigation?

But that is not the case. In reality, it doesn’t hold up, as has been proven by DNA evidence, and scholarly research, and the test of time. To be a believing Mormon, one must go on faith and faith alone. Read the Book of Mormon, pray, and wait for the burning of the bosom.

Whatever you do, do NOT research the BoM, or the LDS teachings. Just accept what you are taught. When the prophet speaks, the thinking has been done.

This has never been my way. And it is not the way of many, many others, who have left the LDS Church, but are still proudly counted as members. Perhaps one day, my teenage friend will look back and think, “Wow, did I really write that comment? I am so embarassed. I am so saddened by what I believed to be true, and the sheer arrogance that it took for ME, a teenage girl, to write a 43-year-old woman and tell her JUST how wrong she was.”

Or maybe not. Some people never do look back and wonder at their arrogance. But I know I did. I remember that I wanted to put up a picture of the LDS Temple in my college apartment, and didn’t really understand why my Greek roommate was offended. The picture was a gift from my parents, who of course, were trying to keep me in line. Moving away from them, I could now make my own choices about my birth religion. They could no longer control what I heard, or saw, or when I went to church. So they gave me the temple to remind me about the testimony they had also given me. I suppose the reason I left it behind was because it never belonged to me.

Now, of course, I understand why my roommate was upset about the picture, and did not want it on our living room wall. I often cringe that even as I was questioning, and wondering, and preparing to leave, I was still so arrogant, as trained from birth, to believe I had the only true thing, that I did not understand what respect is.

Perhaps the reason I keep getting birthday cookies and visits from the Mormons, and why they will not take my name off their records, is my payback for the arrogance of my youth, although in my defense, that was also given to me.

There is an inherent lack of respect Mormons show for other religions and belief systems. Baptizing dead people into the your religion is the EPITOME of arrogance. And yet they feel, “Who WOULDN’T want to be Mormon? After all, it is the only true church.”

It’s a mindset that has no signs of going away.

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